10 Important First Date Tips With Someone You Met Online

First date tips with someone you met online

Written by Maryam Idris Bappa

Maryam Idris Bappa is a Bsc and Msc graduate of Architecture from ABU Zaria who is currently based in Kaduna State. This bold writer believes in clarity of thought hence she loves to ask questions on why things are the way they are and writes to give justified answers to them.This is why her writings mostly stay focused on thought provoking pieces written simply. Maryam's pieces focuses mostly on writing new and existing ideas in ways that will bring in interest and a new perspective to her readers. When Maryam is not writing articles, poems or sketching, she loves to engage in hand crafts or simply relax in the serene pleasure of her own company.

October 30, 2020

Are you anxious about going on a date with someone you met online? Perhaps a million things are going through your mind and you are afraid that the person would dislike your off the keyboard personality. You can even be thinking the whole thing might just end up in a complete wreck. Well, quit getting worked up. This article will provide you with tips for first date after meeting online and ensure you return in one piece and with minimal casualties. We all know that the internet today has become a popular platform for people to socialize and if all goes well, even leads to a serious relationship and marriage.

In fact, people are getting more accustomed to this method than the good old fashioned ‘Ji mana’ when trying to flag a girl’s attention, which is typical of Arewa men. As that has not always yielded a positive result, men and even women of today have resorted to the safer approach of wooing someone online first before asking to meet them. At least if rejected, they can nurse their wounds and move on quickly with less stress.

Read: Unraveling The Roles of Men In Hausa Land

However, if two people meet online and click, the next step is meeting up, which is where the tension comes in, as most people have proven shy and more confident with their keyboard than in person. For first-timers, they might completely be at a loss at what to and what not to say or do. There is absolutely no cause for much worry though. These ten tips will help you for first date after meeting online.

10 Tips For First Date After Meeting Online

1. Make and Understand the Intentions of the Date Clearly

Do you simply want to get to know the person better or are you meeting up to ask for their hand in marriage? Is the perspective and expectation of the date clearly understood? Most people go on a first date after meeting online without even knowing why. This can be dangerous as It is easy to get or give off mixed signals when relating with a person online.

So before embarking on a first date, be sure your intentions are clear and try to understand your partner’s own such that both of you are on the same page or at least not on conflicting ones. You can say or watch out for things like;

“I would really love to meet you so I can see the reaction on your face when you talk about politics”.


“Why do you want us to meet?”

Doing this will prevent unnecessary surprises, discomfort, drama, and even embarrassment for both parties during the date even if either of you feels there is a spark going on.

2. Prepare Yourself on What to Say

Not trying to turn your data into a boring affair or an interview, but you don’t want to come off as slow or uninteresting. Consider taking mental notes of things you wish to talk about before the date is over so you don’t go through the trouble of going on a date and end up having nothing to say. Asking relevant questions while on a date is a good way to keep the conversation going smoothly.

“So we were chatting that day and you said…”

Then you can proceed to ask for more explanation or even disagree with what they said. This will build up your confidence and reduce the number of awkward moments you may have. Do not to overstress it though, you can also talk about totally new and interesting stuff.

3. Safety First

This is advice, particularly to women. Don’t be a fool. Never agree to meet a person you met online for the first time at a secluded or private place no matter how trustworthy they may have seemed or how long you have known them online—unless you know Karate. There are too many psychos out there to not prioritize your safety.

Meet at a public or semi-public place and tell a friend where you are going and details of whom you are meeting up with. Prepare a coded phone call in case you need emergency rescue and leave your location on if necessary. Some people are not interested in you and may have hidden intentions. Be security conscious and it will save you from getting mugged, kidnapped, raped, or even killed.

4. Keep Things Simple

Don’t be a showoff. This goes particularly for men. We know you are eager to impress but save the cruise boat dates and five-star restaurants for future dates. You don’t want to outdo yourself and end up having the other person feeling indebted, insulted, or appearing like a fool when the date doesn’t end well.

There are many ways to show a person they are special without acting as if you want to buy them off. Have an idea about the kind of person you are meeting and a simple casual gift may just as well deliver your message effectively. You can read more about gift ideas for both genders here.

“I remembered you said you loved headphones the other day and I saw a vendor passing by with this and thought it will be a nice first gift to you”.

She might appreciate the fact that you remembered her statement more than the gift itself.

5. Be Punctual

Whether you are a lady or a man, show up for your first date on time. Show up at least five minutes to the agreed time. Nothing speaks more rudeness than showing up late on a first date without any emergency.

For people that are extremely time conscious, there is no quicker way of discomforting them than coming late to a date. Therefore, even if you are not usually a punctual person, honor your first date by showing up on time.

6. Look and Smell Good

Be sure to take a shower and dress up nicely when going out. As a man, wear something that shows you made an effort but doesn’t end up making the person find humor in your choice of clothing.

Avoid over or underdressing and make sure to take good extra care of your personal hygiene. A clean and nicely ironed white kaftan with a cologne is okay. As for women, wear something decent and perhaps neutral like an Abaya, preferably black, as it speaks of confidence. Avoid putting too much makeup on and drawing attention to yourself. You can read more about the colors to wear for a date here.

Related: Things Every Guy Should Have in His Wardrobe

Finish your look with a soft perfume and wear light accessories. Lastly, appear with and maintain a smile throughout the date.

7. Listen and Be at Your Best Manners

Listening and paying attention to your date is one of the most important etiquettes to observe on a first date with someone after meeting online. Unlike your chats online where you are distracted most times, try to unburden your mind before the date and come with a full attention span.

Keep away from unnecessary distractions, avoid looking too much at other people, do not interrupt unnecessarily when the other person is talking, and keep away from your phone as much as possible unless you wish to explore something that concerns what you two are talking about, which could by the way spice up the discussion.

In addition to that, observe good table manners and be courteous to everyone you may encounter including your date. Also, respect your date’s personal boundaries and do not sexually harass your date through inappropriate looks, comments, and touches.

8. Talk About Your Present

You are allowed to share very little of your past on a first date. Chances are you have probably talked about it already. When someone agrees to go on a date with you after meeting online, there is a high possibility the person has picked interest in what they already know about you and wish to know more.

This is your chance to extend their interest. Most relationships online have changed after the first date because one or both parties were bored or felt mismatched with the other person without actually getting to know them. They hear your past and end up being too judgemental without even getting to know you.

You want to give the person a reason for a second date as well. So keep conversations as light as possible by talking about your present and future aspirations and dreams. Focus on who you are and want to be rather than who you were unless of course if asked. Don’t give too much away too soon and don’t bore your partner to the point of losing interest in you altogether.

9. Be Yourself

There is nothing more attractive than an honest date who is not afraid to communicate actively their feelings and experiences while the date is on. Even if you feel tensed and anxious, be at ease with who you are and what you are feeling.

“Wow, I feel a bit nervous talking with you in person”


“To be honest, I am not usually this confident talking to girls/guys but you make me feel at ease”.

Things like these will add a bit of humor and honesty to the conversation even in your nervousness. This will help in easing tension and also let your date know there is no pressure on them to act stiff and perfect as well.

10. Have Fun and End the Date on a Note

Towards the end of the date, add some more fun by visiting interesting and less formal places that will broaden your scope of discussion. Take leisure strolls, go stand by interesting happenings and let your date know how you feel about those things. When about leaving, let the person know you had a good time and look forward to when you can go on another date.

Read: 10 Places To Visit in Plateau State

Going on a first date with someone you met online can be very enjoyable since you two are acquainted already. You get to see the person’s facial expressions, read their body language, and match a personality behind those words onscreen. You also get to answer questions that have been gnawing at your mind.

But first, be aware of the aim of the date before proceeding so you cut your coat according to your cloth.

Have fun and be safe. Feel free to share your experiences here, after applying these tips to help you with first date after meeting someone online.

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