10 Signs That Show You Are In A One-Sided Relationship

10 signs that shows you are in a one-sided relationship

Written by Rebecca Bala

Bala Rebecca Yalien is a creative and fictional writer. Her write-ups tell stories that will inspire and empower her readers. When she is not busy, she's trying to learn new things or read a book. She believes strongly in the power of hard work and determination.

July 17, 2021

Relationships can be sweet and beautiful especially if you are with someone who loves you and is not afraid to show it or even profess it. It becomes burdensome and draining when you are the only one putting in all the work and effort. If you are in a relationship and you are not sure where you stand, here are 10 signs that show you are in a one-sided relationship.

10 Signs That Indicate You Are In A One-Sided Relationship

1. They Never Check Up On You

It is very important in every relationship for both partners to look out for each other, To be present and concerned with what is going on in each other’s lives. When your partner doesn’t call you, send you messages, visit you or try to reach out to you through any means possible, then maybe they do not care about you at all, and might be one of the signs that you are in a one-sided relationship.

2. You Always Make Excuses For Them

When you start covering up for their excesses, ignoring their bad behaviours and even start lying to well-meaning family and friends on their behalf, it’s one of the signs that show you are in a one-sided relationship. For instance, when they’re supposed to be at an event that is very important to you and they just bail on you without reason and you start running a list of maybes in your mind.

“Maybe his car broke down and there’s no network reception there.”

“Maybe he doesn’t like large gatherings.”

“Just Maybe he is caught in traffic or probably stuck at work.”

If your partner loves you, they’ll give importance to everything important to you and if they have some sort of emergency, they’ll communicate effectively. Sometimes your partner may go as far as disrespecting you in public and you immediately run to their defence” he’s in a bad mood”, “it’s that time of the month, she’s cranky “when someone loves you, they treat you with respect no matter what. He does not check up on you and you say he’s busy and making money for your future together? No sis, I’m sorry to break it to you but there’s no future!

3. You Always Initiate The Date Plans

Going out and doing fun stuff as a couple is a good spice to every relationship. Visiting each other’s favourite places, ticking plans off your bucket list or just spending quality time together is as a matter of fact, very important.

But when you are the only one initiating the plans, planning dates, always wanting to hang out and your partner is just indifferent and passive about it, you need to pause and re-analyze your relationship. It might just be one-sided.

4. You Make Compromises And They Don’t

With love comes caring, sharing and sacrifices and sometimes you will need to put your partners need above everything. You might have to cancel plans or even let go of things and people for your partner’s sake. Prioritizing your partner’s need is essential but when you are the only one making sacrifices and compromises, that’s unfair.

If you’re the sacrificial lamb in your relationship, always putting your needs on the line for your partner’s well-being and they aren’t doing the same, it shows you are in a one-sided relationship.

5. You Are Always Begging For Attention

Anything you love, you give your time and full attention. If you have to beg for attention, throw tantrums, make up stories and scenarios, or try to make them jealous for them to notice you, then they don’t love you. You shouldn’t have to beg to be seen or heard by your partner.

It’s part of the benefits you enjoy in a healthy relationship.

6. You Walk On Eggshells Around Them

When you have to tread carefully around them, always careful not to upset them, unsure of what they feel for you or what they are thinking about a situation and unable to ask them questions because you are afraid they will be irritated, you are in the wrong place. You shouldn’t have to constantly doubt your position in your relationship.

You deserve to be yourself as opposed to living up to your partner’s expectations of who you should be. Your self-esteem and self-worth are in jeopardy here. Quick advice. RUN!

7. You Are The Only One Contributing Financially

When you start hearing “my money is my money, your money is our money” that is a wrong sign. When you are the only giver in the relationship, the only one investing money, you pay bills, pay for all the dates- both the ones you initiated and the ones you didn’t, buy them presents for every special day including children’s day and independence day and get none in return, the relationship is one-sided.

I know African men usually feel like it’s their responsibility to finance the relationship but Bro, she can’t claim to love you and not give you anything, no matter how little. She might just be running a gold-digging business and you are nothing but a client.

Meanwhile, you can also check out 44 gifts ideas for him and her.

8. You Are The Only One Fostering Communication

When you are the only one trying to keep the communication lines open or trying to bridge the communication gap, it is safe to say that you are already showing symptoms. Communication is key to every relationship and both parties should be fully invested in it. If only one party is calling, texting, starting all the conversations and the other party doesn’t give a damn, then the relationship is sick and needs help.

The same applies when the other party can’t communicate clearly without starting an argument.

9. You Are Always Apologizing

Another sign you are in a one-sided relationship is, that you are always the one apologizing whether you are the offender or not. You are always apologizing for every argument and always taking the blame for everything. It’s funny how they offend you, refuse to take responsibility and you end up being the one saying sorry for being angry in the first place.

That’s a really sad place to be.

10. You Are Not In Their Future Plans

From making important decisions without your knowledge to actually making plans without you in it, your partner is screaming “you are on your own!”This might be due to different expectations from the relationship. To you, they may be end game’. You are already making plans for your future around them probably even named your kids but to them, you are just a temporary plan.

This is why it is important to talk about your expectations from your relationship before you get serious with your partner. You have to be on the same page. However. If they are making future plans without you in it, then it is what it is- a one-sided relationship.

Conclusion

Balance in every sphere of life is important and every relationship should reach an equilibrium where both partners are invested in serving, helping and putting each other first, making sacrifices, making each other feel loved, supported, comfortable and needed. If you don’t feel this way in your relationship then maybe the scale is tilting and all the weight is on you.

They say love is blind but you need to open your eyes wide and lookout for these signs. When you do, I hope you find the courage to choose yourself because you deserve better. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love them. As Nigerians will say”you need an adequate Gbas to your Gbos”.

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4 Comments

  1. Aisha Zakari

    That’s just right dear…I emm, oh well.
    Nice write up!

    Reply
  2. maryambappa

    Beautiful article.

    Reply
  3. Bala Winiefred Zillie

    Nice article👌

    Reply
  4. Bappa Al-Ameen

    That’s a beautiful one, Yalien

    Reply

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