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It is a thing of joy to finally move from singlehood to the married hood. That extraordinary happiness you derive when you find your soulmate, who would make you embark on the “for better for worse, till death do us part” journey, someone who turns “mi casa (my home) to sucasa (our home)”. While growing up, we learnt that marriage is the union between two individuals in love, who have decided to spend the rest of their lives together, basic mathematics; “1+1= you and I”.
We also learnt the conventional things every marriage needs, like commitment, compatibility, love, trust, loyalty, time, communication, endurance, perseverance and so on. But no one ever taught us to think beyond all these conventional needs. We usually act like there is an imaginary box governing the marriage affairs, but what if we break the box, what if we act like there was no box to even begin with?
You probably stopped to think a bit, not to worry I already came up with a list of things I feel every marriage needs, trust me you can add yours too, depending on how much spice you want to add to your marriage;
10 Things Every Marriage Needs
You might ask how friendship falls under unconventional needs. The truth is some people skip the friendship stage and jump right into love, without realizing that friendship helps you develop tolerance, helps you build compatibility, trust, loyalty and so on.
2. Love Notes
Remember back in school when you were trying to woe her or back at a gathering when you are trying to get his attention, remember what you did? Why stop because you are married? It doesn’t end there, you need to constantly woe her, constantly remind him of how much you love him, by sticking tiny letters in his bag or on the mirror.
You can also send choose texts, whichever works for you.
3. That Special Place
Every marriage needs that special place; a restaurant, beach, gallery, where they first met, that one place that reminds you of why you decided to be with your partner in the first place.
Get yours now.
4. Good Manners
We shouldn’t only teach children good manners. As adults, we also need to learn good manners like, saying please and thank you, picking up after ourselves, not inviting anyone into our home without asking our spouse first, the act of opening doors which you started while you were dating, saying excuse me, saying I am sorry and every other good manner out there.
This will help your marriage greatly.
Compliments are essential in a marriage as it helps a couple to communicate the admiration, gratitude and appreciation they feel towards each other.
Compliments make us feel good, whether we are receiving or giving them.
Respect is an essential need in a marriage. Respect means that you acknowledge that your partner is not just a means to get something you want, that your partner has a different perspective and that is ok with you.
You don’t always have to agree on things, but you know how to respect his or her opinions without making a fuss about them. Respect also means that you put aside every societal norm and value and you treat your partner like a whole person.
7. Little Arguments
No relationship or marriage is complete without little arguments or quarrels. Arguments spring up to show the different opinions and perspectives that exist between a husband and a wife.
Your ability to prevent little arguments from turning into huge ones will show how strong your marriage is.
Every couple needs to learn how to prioritize each other, by spending quality time together, understanding each others’ love language, by being affectionate (saying I love you every day)
9. Emotional Needs
A husband and wife need to understand each others’ emotional needs and how unequal they can be. Emotional needs can be in form of sexual fulfilment, intimate conversations, honesty, openness, affection and so on.
I would also add strength to the list of what every marriage need. You can call it conventional or unconventional, the point is we never acknowledge the fact that it is important. Every marriage needs strength to make whatever you bring to the table work. And you can only acquire strength by building each other.
While every marriage is different with each having a list of things that will make it work, these 10 things are essential in every marriage. Making a marriage work requires other things as well. Tell me in the comments box what you think I left out.
Meanwhile, you can also check out why holding on to your toxic traits will destroy your marriage.