In This Article
- 1 Marriage Preparation Tips
- 1.1 1. Make Up Your Mind
- 1.2 2. Pray About It
- 1.3 3. Discuss Responsibilities
- 1.4 4. Have a Role Model Couple
- 1.5 5. Try to Be Independent
- 1.6 6. Take a Genotype Test
- 1.7 7. Be Yourself
- 1.8 8. Mind Your Expenditure
- 1.9 9. Decide on Family Size
- 1.10 10. Be Obedient and Respectful
- 1.11 11. Stop Thinking Me, but Us
- 1.12 12. Avoid Pre-Marital Sex
- 1.13 13. You Need to Be Patient
- 1.14 14. Test Their Patience Too
- 1.15 15. Talk about Faith (Religion)
- 1.16 16. Learn to Forgive
- 1.17 17. Be a Supporter
- 2 Conclusion
Have you been pondering over the things you need to know or do before marriage? If yes, you’re at the right place! Just stay with me as I guide you through some marriage preparation tips.
Most of the marriages that crumbled, crumbled not because the couples aren’t in love, but because they failed to know some things that they ought to have known before even settling down. You wouldn’t want to have a failed marriage, would you?
The moment you decide to marry, know that you have embarked on a journey and there are important things to know and take along with you. Here are some marriage preparation tips to guide you through this journey:
Marriage Preparation Tips
1. Make Up Your Mind
This may sound easy, but trust me, if you carelessly overlook it, you will have yourself to blame.
Making up one’s mind is about coming to terms with their mind; they have to be on the same page. You can’t want to do something while your mind is thinking differently.
You do not want to prepare for a marriage you are not confident in, or still have lingering doubts about; this is a strong factor that could lead to failure in marriages.
2. Pray About It
Having made your mind up on settling down, as normal or conventional as it may sound, you need to pray. The northern part of Nigeria is arguably the most religious part of the country – Islam and Christianity and the two major religions. Both religions believe that whenever you set your mind on doing something, only your efforts or hard work won’t suffice, you also have to pray about it.
After all, marriage is not like an item of clothing, when it gets old or no longer fits you, you discard or give it to another person, NO. It’s a lifetime something. You need God’s interference, don’t you?
Prayer is the key to everything. So pray!
3. Discuss Responsibilities
To avoid responsibility clashes here and there, you need to discuss responsibilities.
There are of course responsibilities in every household. There is a need for you two to discuss and share those responsibilities. Some responsibilities are peculiar to men (like fending for the family) while others are to females (like childbearing, tidying up the house, etc.), and some are for both.
However you decide to share, it is ok as long as no one feels overburdened or cheated. Ensure to make it very clear.
You could also read on: Managing Shared Responsibilities.
4. Have a Role Model Couple
Having a role model is one of the marriage preparation tips you need to put into consideration. That role model could be some influential persons, friends, relatives, or even your parents. You chose them because they’ve been in marriage for a long time and have amassed themselves with a wealth of marital experiences.
They will come in handy when you have a problem with your spouse that needs to be resolved.
5. Try to Be Independent
In a typical northern Nigerian setting, a wife is a very dependent being. She engages in little or no productive stuff but is very productive when it comes to demand. As a female, you do not want to be that; your husband will love you less.
Most men nowadays do not even want a dependent woman, we prefer an independent woman – a woman who does some things for herself and can come to the aid of the family when the need arises. Unfortunately, some men nowadays have their eyes on their partner’s money. Guys, when you become too demanding, she gets tired of you too – it’s a two-way thing.
My advice for you is, try as much as possible to be independent.
6. Take a Genotype Test
Genotype is the genetic makeup of an individual passed from his parents. We have 4 types of genotypes: AA, AS, SS, AC. As an AA, you can marry any person regardless of their genotype – as a matter of fact, it is more advisable to not marry an AA, but any other genotype.
You and your partner must go for this test and be sure you two are compatible. If you aren’t, forget about that marriage. I know it’s not easy, but it’s better than what you will face in the future.
Go for that test NOW if you haven’t.
7. Be Yourself
Being you as one of the marriage preparation tips is paramount for a successful marriage. Do not be deceptive, show your true self – this doesn’t imply that if you have a bad habit, keep it, NO, change it. Let your partner get to know the real you so they don’t see someone different in you that they already know after marriage.
A piece of advice from me to you is “Never lie to satisfy somebody for a moment because the pain that you cause them in the future can last them for a lifetime”.
Please, be YOURSELF!
8. Mind Your Expenditure
One of the marriage preparation tips I’ll be sharing with you is ‘being mindful of your expenditure‘ – this is mostly for men. You need to know that you are about venturing into something way different from the life of a single person. Scale-preference your needs and concentrate on only the important ones.
Do not be tempted to go overboard when spending. Begin to train yourself to spend wisely, that skill will come in handy in your marital life.
9. Decide on Family Size
Deciding on the size of the family you both need or want is an important marriage preparation tip. You should know that a large family size comes with greater responsibilities and vice-versa.
Decide on the number of children you intend to have, and advisably, that should be proportionate to your income and available time – you need money to take care of the family needs and your children need your time as well.
Please, do not give birth to children you cannot cater for; that would be a very cruel thing to do to your children and society at large.
10. Be Obedient and Respectful
You need to be obedient and respectful to your partner. This mostly goes to females. You need to know that we men have ego and pride the size of Mount Everest. We, humans, want to be obeyed and respected by people or our subordinates, but for men, hmm, it’s something else. My dear future bride, have that obedience and respect coming your husband’s way non-stop.
Do not relent on this, DO NOT!
11. Stop Thinking Me, but Us
You need to know that marriage involves two people doing things together for the whole of their lives. As a result, you need to stop thinking about yourself whenever you want to do or say something, you should always consider your partner’s wishes and wants as well. Considering each other not only avoids unpleasant situations but strengthens your marriage beyond negative external forces.
12. Avoid Pre-Marital Sex
This is a big one. In the modern-day world, pre-marital sex has become a normal thing. Unfortunately, some tribes in Nigeria encourage it. However, it isn’t a good practice. There are repercussions to the act.
It brings about less trust in your partner on the issue (sex). You will be suspecting your partner whenever you see them with the opposite sex or when they are not around – say, when they come back home late, or when they are on a business or an official trip. And ‘trust’ my dear, is very important in a marriage. The moment you start suspecting your partner, that marriage is dead already.
Another advantage of not having pre-marital sex is that you don’t get to have a preference, whatever and however your man or woman is, you will be content, mostly.
So, my advice for you is, DON’T engage in pre-marital sex.
13. You Need to Be Patient
Whether it’s marriage or business, patience is the first rule of successWilliam Feather
One of the marriage preparation tips worth noting is ‘being patient’. There are lots of ups and downs in marriages. No marriage is free from troubles and hurdles. You have to find a way to deal with them as they come, and the best way to achieve that is by being patient with your partner and your marital life.
14. Test Their Patience Too
You will need to know how patient your partner is in terms of misunderstanding. For me, the best way to do that is by getting in a good fight – a very good one intentionally, and then see how they react. If they react favourably, then go for them, and if they react violently, I suggest you leave them. Do you know why? Because there are lots of ugly fights waiting for you in marriage, you do not want to take them (the fights) lightly.
15. Talk about Faith (Religion)
Before venturing into any marriage, talk about religious beliefs with your partner. It’s much easier if you’re both practicing the same religion because all you need to do is decide when and how religious practices should be carried out in the family. If you practice different faiths, you seriously need to have that talk.
Religion is a very sensitive thing now. Ensure that you set boundaries you both should not cross and respect each other’s faith. Any mistake could be disastrous. You should also decide on the faith of your children, the earlier you do that, the better.
You could also read on: Why Setting Boundaries in a Relationship is Important
16. Learn to Forgive
Another important marriage preparation tip worth practicing is ‘forgiveness’. Whenever your spouse upsets you and asks for forgiveness, forgive them. Forgive them even if they don’t ask for it, at least, so you could have a rest of mind.
Do not continue to dwell on previous mistakes of your partner because more are coming. When the problems become much, you lose control of yourself. So, forgive them to have a healthy marriage.
17. Be a Supporter
As a future husband, know that you need to support your future wife in terms of providing for her basic needs, and in whatever good she’s doing. And as a future wife, you need to be like a backup plan for your husband – be that kind of wife that your husband can rely on or fall back to when he is down financially or emotionally.
Support each other in good and unfortunate times.
There are tons of marriage preparation tips, some of which I haven’t included in my write-up – like trust, honesty, being faithful, trustworthy, etc. This is because I didn’t want to bore you with a lot to read. Notwithstanding, the above-mentioned tips should be enough guide for you to consider before tying the knot.
If you find this article interesting, please leave a comment on the comments section below, and also tell us other marriage preparation tips I haven’t mentioned. Thank you.
You could also read on: 10 Things Every Marriage Needs and 10 Things to Do at the Start of Every Relationship.