by Happiness Hassan | Mar 16, 2021 | Personal Growth
Our world would be left in confusion if humans are unable to communicate with each other. In essence, effective communication fosters advanced social interaction which creates global and local development. It’s based on communication we’re able to express ourselves resulting in a lasting relationship, eliminating misunderstanding. Hence, communication goes beyond mere words and the transfer of information rather it entails we understand the emotions and intentions behind what is been communicated. That’s why it’s important all humans learn the tips for effective communication to prevent communicating haphazardly.
But Before That Let’s Consider Real-Life Experience
During last year’s Eid al-Fitr celebration. I accompanied my friend Mariam to pick up a few things from the market a day to the celebration. On entering the market we decided to patronize the first seller on the lane. So, we approached his shop and greet him. His frowned looks made us uncomfortable coupled with his harsh response to our greetings. Although we ignored his manners and assumed he was having a bad day.
Next, he brought out all the goods we requested, and we started bargaining. Within the twinkle of an eye, he flared up. According to him, we had under-priced his goods and were not ready to purchase the items. In no time he was asking us to leave his shop. I and Mariam in shock looked at each other and quietly took our leave.
However, on getting to the next seller, our experience with him was a total contrast to the first seller. The second seller welcomed us in a friendly manner. We bargained amicably and were ready to depart. Due to curiosity we stopped and inquire about the first seller attitude. He shook his head and replied; That’s how he behaves all the time, he lacks communication manners which is gradually affecting his sales.
At that moment it dawned on me that communication is one of the keys to success. Hence, in this post, I will be discussing seven tips for effective communication.
Here are the Tips For Effective Communication
1. Understand The Opposite Perspective
A large percentage of persons are quick to say whatever pops up in their minds. And express exactly how they think a situation should be addressed without considering what the listeners think and feels. Hence, for you to communicate effectively consider the reaction of your listener before speaking.
For instance, you want to convince an uncivilized man on the reason why he needs to embrace civilization. This might become a tug of war for you and perhaps result in an argument. At the same time, you can communicate effectively to him by understanding his perspective owing to the fact he had lived his entire life practicing certain kinds of lifestyle.
2. Focus Helps You Communicate Better
Effective communication is achieved when the receiver understands what has been communicated otherwise, the aim of that communication is fruitless. How do you achieve this? Start by being focused, if possible maintain mutual eye contact while communicating, paying maximum attention to the non-verbal signs of your listeners.
Also, do away with every form of distraction and interruptions while communicating such as diverting from the subject, answering phone calls, excusing yourself to pick a thing or two, and lots more.
3. Applying the C’s of communication
Applying the 7 C’s of communication promotes effective communication and also terminate the gaps and misunderstanding between individuals at workplaces, home, schools, and offices. These include: clarity, correctness, conciseness, courtesy, concreteness, consideration and completeness.
4. Study the Atmosphere While Communicating
The consciousness of your listener’s emotions enables you to communicate effectively. Always study their reactions as you speak, sad listeners will appreciate you more when your words communicated cheers them.
Instead of listening to a long boring speech, attempting to convince them to buy your products. It’s best you cheer them up first before asking them to buy your products.
5. Always Engage the listeners During Communication
This is another crucial tip for effective communication. Learn to carry your listeners along, avoid being the only one doing the talking. At regular time intervals, take a break and listen to what the other person has to contribute on the subject of discussion.
6. Don’t Criticize When You’re on the Listening End
Communication is a two-way act that involves a listener and a speaker. Hence, when you happen to be on the listening side, be careful not to criticize or pass judgmental comments about the speaker and what is been communicated. This behavior results in disorderliness distracting the atmosphere. If you must make corrections do it with courtesy after the speaker is done talking.
7. Select Your Words Before Speaking
You shouldn’t speak because you feel like talking neither should you communicate from the standpoint of anger. Select the kinds of words you use in addressing various listeners to avoid igniting misunderstanding and creating the wrong impression.
Conclusion
Communicating effectively is crucial and applicable to all aspects of life from academic to business to family to friendship to career and personal life. Also, the tips for effective communication can be applied vice versa for both listeners and speakers. Lastly, avoiding distractions and interruptions during communication. Instead, learn to listen more and maintain focus.
Finally, head on to the comment section and share your previous communication experiences.
by Fatima Sheikh | Mar 13, 2021 | Personal Growth
Listening is the act of concentrating and paying attention to action or sound. As simple as this might sound, how good are we at listening? Do we only hear what we choose to hear or do we listen actively with our ears, mind, and body while deciphering and comprehending information? At the end of the article, you should be learning five new tips to improve your listening skills.
The act of active listening can be the solution to so many communication errors in all phases of our lives. Imagine a world where parents actively listened to their children, children listened to their parents, leaders listened to their followers, couples mastering the act of active listening, or individuals like you and me being taught active listening in school. More than half of the problems of the world will be solved, if only we mind to know how to improve our listening skills. In addition, there will be less divorce rate, community conflict, and possibly fewer or no wars at all. The world will be a far safer place.
Mastering the skill of listening will not only help you communicate effectively professionally but also transform your relationships, friendships, and marriages.
Tips to Help You Improve Your Listening Skills
1. Practice Silence and Sound Exercise
With so much noise around us, paying attention to every single sound or concentrating during a long conversation has proven difficult. Practising listening to the silence and sound exercise every morning for five minutes will help sharpen your listening concentration before you start the day.
Silence Exercise
Get a quiet spot. Sit calmly and listen to the silence. Listen to yourself. Reset your ears to hear the quiet and stillness.
Sound Exercise
Every day, for a minimum of five minutes, pay attention to the sounds around you. Pick individual sounds out. This can be the sound of water running from the tap or the wind blowing or even the sound of you brushing your hair. This is a great way to start the day especially if you look forward to having a conversation or meeting. This will help you concentrate better during the session.
2. Face the Speaker and Maintain Eye Contact
Paying attention during a conversation can be very tiring, particularly if you have a short attention span, you might drift off easily. To curb this challenging situation, you should look straight at the speaker with your whole body and maintain straight eye contact throughout the conversation.
Following their body movements and eye contact will keep you at the moment thereby, enhancing your concentration to listen actively.
3. Visualize What the Speaker Is Saying
Listening is the missing half of communication. We have two ears and a mouth solemnly for this reason; we cannot communicate effectively when we are not fully listening to the person talking. While listening, look deeper into what the party is listening to. Try to feel what the speaker feels. Listen to the real message that he/she is trying to communicate but is not saying out. Put yourself in their shoes and picture every word they are saying and every circumstance or situation they are describing.
Also, pay attention to the nonverbal cues.
4. Ask Questions Only to Ensure Understanding
While you are supposed to be paying attention all through the conversation, make some gestures at short intervals to indicate you are listening. In fact, listening will demonstrate to the speaker you are in reality listening and present. When the speaker pauses during the conversation, ask clarifying questions only to ensure understanding. This will encourage the speaker to simplify further, thereby achieving the main aim of communication.
5. Don’t Impose Your Solutions
According to a research by Roland Barthes,
Listening can be understood on three levels: alerting, deciphering, and an understanding of how the sound is produced and how the sound affects the listener.
Roland Barthes
These stages of interpreting information while listening can differ from person to person. As a listener, you must keep a very open mind during a conversation. Do not interrupt or impose your judgments. Be attentive and relaxed even if you do not agree with the opinion of the speaker.
Taking a moment to decipher, understand and comprehend the message might shade more light on the matter. If you seem to have a different opinion after analyzing the message, give constructive feedback instead.
Conclusion
Listening, as straightforward as it might sound, is a skill most of us lack. We live in a world where listening will help us understand the other person and message, connect and build rapport, trust, and care.
Listening can be a useful skill for different problems, but it is essential to solving conflict, poor listening can lead to misinterpretations thus causing conflict or a dispute.
Wikipedia 2019
Make it a habit to actively listen. When you listen to yourself, you can listen to people better. True communication is listening. Finally, what method helps you listen better? Tell me in the comments section below. Thank you.
by Johnson Temiloluwa | Mar 13, 2021 | Personal Growth
Habit is a behavioural pattern that is regularly repetitive. A habit might initially be triggered by a goal but, after some time the goal becomes less necessary and the habit becomes automatic. Making a habit of something takes commitment and diligence. Successful people have quite a number of habits that make them who they are. Those habits are what enhances their ability to succeed.
You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.
John C Maxwell
10 Daily Habits of Successful People You Should Imbibe
1.Early to Bed, Early to Rise
Sleeping and waking early breeds a healthy body. A productive adult should get 7-9hours of sleep.
This is one of the daily habits of successful people and it gives room for efficiency and good performance of other daily habits of successful people below.
2. Starting the Day With Calm Music
Music is precious, it has a soothing way of putting one into a productive mood for the day.
Do you have a playlist of calm songs that gets you in a good groove? Play it!
3. Have a Workout Routine
Successful people have a daily habit of breaking sweat early in the morning- most accompany it with calm music. Waking up the muscles of the body and activating the parts of the brain that makes it productive in the morning involves going through stretches or cardio, or even both.
Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple works out first thing in the morning. He uses Apple Watch to track his time and he describes himself as a “fitness nut”.
4. Don’t Forget to Take Breakfast
The good news is that this is the best time to take large calories as you’ll need them to stay energized for the day. So, do not skip it. Remember, it is the vital meal of the day. Queen Elizabeth remembers knows this. She takes a cup of milk accompanied with fresh or dried fruit the next thing after she started her day with calm music.
5. Succesful People Take Care of Their Personal Hygiene
Successful people are high on personal care. This reminds me of Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla Motors, who made use of a concise word when asked what daily habit of his has had the largest positive impact. He went on to say “showering”, for some, that’s all it takes and for others, there are routines for body and skincare routine.
Book that face mask and the body massage appointment.
6. Meditation is Important Too
As a detox, meditation is a practice of channelling the mind to the present and away from the noise and complexity of life. It is calming the mind and places focus on things that are peaceful, present or happy.
It prepares one to tackle the day with ease and calmness. This is one of the daily habits of successful people that sets them ready for the day. Consuming motivational podcasts enhances meditation also.
7. Create a to-do-list
Setting up goals for oneself and creating a to-do list grows one into a successful person. Creating a list for the day or a time builds focus and thereby makes it easy to start the day with clarity.
8. Keep an Organized and Clean space
Asides from cleanliness being next to godliness, there is an ambience that comes with having an organized and clean space to work at. It refreshes the mind and body and one is more likely to have a productive day with all clutters cleared out.
9. Network and Network
There is a huge value in networking and exchanging ideas with people. Recent research says that successful people spend at least 2hours a day networking.
Nurture your relationships, never take them for granted.
Tony Elumelu
In the same way, when you start your career, build your circle, seek to learn, don’t be afraid to understudy the experts and reach out to potential helpers and mentors and learn from them”
10. Create Time for Spontaneity
There are times things don’t go the way we want them to, it’s okay, they don’t always do. But what do you do when that happens to your plans?
Jeff Bezos recognizes the essentiality of having spontaneous time, he sees the need for unstructured time in his schedule. He understands how it affects every aspect of his life and he built it into his daily habit.
Sometimes, the best way to be productive is to schedule time for absolutely nothing at all.
Jeff Bezos
This is in its entirety a great show of emotional intelligence.
You want to imitate Jeff Bezos, know this.
Whatever your daily habits are, remember to create time for spontaneity.
Conclusion
If you are looking for ways to imbibe successful people, this is it. Get ready to experience a successful life as you cultivate these habits. Which other ones do you know? Share them in the comments box.
by Fatima Sheikh | Mar 6, 2021 | Personal Growth
Are we born public speakers or do we have to work on building our public speaking skills? This is the question, many ask. This is also the excuse introverts like me use to hide in their shell. In one of my posts, I wrote briefly about my leadership journey and how leadership roles helped me with my public speaking phobia. Have I become extroverted and less nervous during a public speaking session? The answer is No… But I have learned to build strategies and techniques that help me act more confident and relaxed during public speaking. In this article, I will be sharing with you the best tips for public speaking.
Important Skills that Can Help You Learn How to Become an Effective Speaker
1. Practice More Often
When it comes to public speaking, there are never many times enough for practice. Make it a habit to always practice before any public presentation. Never assume you are good to go. Overconfidence is always the biggest cause of public speaking mishaps.
When practicing my speech, I will stand in front of a mirror and assume I am in front of an audience. Before your next speech, watch pre-recordings of your speeches or practice with a friend or family. Practicing is always the shortcut to a successful public speech.
2. Know Your Audience
One of the biggest blunders speakers always make is to assume different audiences to be the same, thereby using similar speaking strategies for all talk situations. Your speech is about them, not you. Make extensive research on your audience, their age group, ethnics, environment, believes, and laws.
You should not use the same speech technique on elementary school kids with working-class adults who might probably know more than you do. Don’t give a talk on the importance of beef in India. Be lucky if you make it out alive.
3. The Act of Public Speaking Demands You Discover Your Style
In my post on leadership, I emphasized the importance of having a mentor or a guide you aspire to be like. Regardless, ensure you discover your style before emulating a role model. Are you a calm soft-spoken person or an outspoken person with a burst of energy? Make your public speaking style in a manner that goes with that flow. Either way, don’t forget to share some stories and jokes with your audience, this keeps them listening with all attention.
Do what you know will make your speech stand out and feel natural.
4. Be Calm, Don’t Be Afraid to Fail
The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried. Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.
Roy T. Bennett
As weird as it might sound, I have built the habit of loving failure because failure is the biggest teacher you can ever have. The word Glossophobia was not invented due to your error, and it simply means the fear of public speaking. This condition affects four out of 10 people. Calm down and don’t beat yourself up for making a mistake, you are not alone on this journey.
Learn from your mistakes and do better the next time. Act calm and confident anytime you miss a word or stutter.
5. Listen to Your Body Language
The stage is all yours and yours alone. Don’t stand still, move around the stage at a calm confident pace. Use your voice and hands naturally. Don’t give out nervous gestures. Don’t stand at the corner of the stage like a wet scared bird, that won’t look good on you. Stand straight, articulate your speech accurately and win over the crowd.
This is one of the tips for public speaking worth noting.
6. Ask for Feedback
During my public speaking sessions at the toastmaster club, the feedback always helped me in my next presentation. The format was Commend-Recommend-Commend style. Constructive feedback and recommendation by your audience will be a great advantage to you to prepare better for your upcoming public speaking sessions.
The audience always sees and observes things you probably missed during your rehearsal.
Conclusion
Consistency is always the key to perfection. There is no easy way out of public speaking. Discipline yourself and make it a habit to practice, learn from books, videos, and great public speakers. Don’t be afraid to fail, practice with friends and families or join public speaking clubs in your town.
These tips I shared will not only change your personality but help you build the unique public speaking techniques that will make you stand out and act confident during a public speaking session.
Finally, were there times you were afraid of speaking in public? If yes, tell us about it and how you overcome it.
by Happiness Hassan | Mar 6, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Conflict of interest in career choice between parents and their children is one of the factors igniting family dispute, which eventually terminates the love, trust, unity, understanding, and harmony in a home. Oftentimes, propels children to rebel against their parents. However, to avert disheartening statements in the future such as I hate what I do and life is miserable for me because my parents are forcing me into a career I dislike, it’s best if you speak up in the right way.
Reasons Why Parents Choose Careers Their Children
It’s wrong for parents to force their children into careers they have little or no passion for. In essence, a career is a lifetime occupation that requires you to make the decision yourself and not your parents. However, parents believe they know what’s best for their children and are in the position to decide what career they should venture into, besides they pay the bills.
Reasons for this are traced to a parental desire for a socially recognized career, careers with more job opportunities, and for a selfish reason as to preserving their family status. Learn more about the role of parents in their child’s career choice.
Know That Rebelling is not an Option
My parents are forcing me into a career and I’m not interested, what can I do? Ahmad laments. His family wants him to become a doctor. Unfortunately, he grew up in a family passionate about medical sciences. His dad is a doctor, his mom a pharmacist, while his sister is into the nursing profession.
They own a private hospital. His dad continually reminded him of heading to the family hospital someday. Ahmad had something entirely different from what his parents wanted for him.
His passion was architecture, being scared of disobeying his parents he kept quiet and devised his scheme. Unknowingly to his parents, he had a change of course and for years lied to his parents hoping to convince his excellent grades in architecture having graduated. Surprisingly, the reverse was the case. His deceit brought enmity between him and his parents shattered their love and trust for him.
Moreover, if you find yourself in Ahmad’s story you don’t have to remain silent at the expense of your happiness neither should you rebel.
Here is What You Should Do If You Are Forced Into A Career You Don’t Like
1. Understand Your Parents
Your parents forcing you into a career probably have something good in mind. Remember, they will not make choices that are detrimental to your well-being. Their choice might be different from yours but not a horrible option. Hence, consider their perspective. Ask yourself the reasons why your parents want you to pick a certain career, is there a selfish reason? Inquire about the benefit associated with that career path.
To be more practical, how would you react if you were in your parent’s shoes someday and your child rebels against your choice? That doesn’t seem right. You can convince them when you speak from their standpoints.
2. Communicate Your Feelings Effectively
This is a medium that helps you express how you feel towards your parent’s choice, likewise convince them about your own desired career. Silence never solves the problem of your parents forcing you into a career you dislike.
Discard the feeling of fear from your mind when approaching your parents and employ the following communication tactics.
Select Your Words Carefully
To successfully convince your parents, be mindful of your word usage, avoid using words such as you have no right over me, I am old enough to make my own choices, I have my life to live. Those kinds of words harden their heart the more.
In contrast, use words like “I trust your choice for me” “I know you have my best at heart” and more.
Moderate Your Tune
Your tune while conversing either creates a negotiable atmosphere or an uneasy one. Speak with courtesy because pleasant words spoken in a calm tune loosens up the hearts and promotes agreement.
Time Your Approach
It’s a fruitless effort attempting to convince your parents when they are stressed out or upset. Hence, observe their moods, you can also set a happy atmosphere by assisting them in completing their activities for the day or prepare a surprise meal for them before approaching them.
Have A Heart-to-heart Conversation
Your parents will always rethink when every word you express is said from your heart, putting your emotions to play. Learn more about effective communication.
3. Talk To Your Role Model
Humans are easily convinced by the good example presented to them. Therefore, become courageous to show your parents people who are successful in your desired fields, this practice assures your parents that you are not making the wrong choice.
Also, provide a thousand acceptable reasons why you choose a career entirely different from theirs, the benefits associated with the career. Likewise, their success stories remind changing agents.
4. Bring in a Third Party
Perhaps, other steps aren’t sufficient, and you are afraid of approaching your parents, then get a third party involved. However, you need to be mindful of the kinds of third parties you invite. Meanwhile, there are standard third parties capable of convincing your parents about your choice. They include your Malam, Pastor or a community leader.
Furthermore, sign up for a counselling session with a career counsellor or coach, you can also invite them over to your house to talk with your parents. These counsellors are trained in the field of career choice and conflict of Interest among parents and children, hence they know the perfect approach to apply notwithstanding how difficult your parent might be.
5. Express Your Passion
Parents are humans with natural emotions. Begin by letting your parents know how difficult their chosen career would be for you and how you might end up failing in that career path. On hearing this, most times they give their support in favour of your career because no parent wants to waste their time, resource and efforts on a career that will result in future failure.
Likewise, outline your plans and objectives for choosing your preferred career for your parents.
6. Promise And Fulfil
Take responsibility for every choice you make. Your parents might doubt your success in your desired field and force you into careerism different from your plans. However, their minds and choice can be reversed by making a promise.
For instance, committing yourself to excellence and making yourself proud when given the free will to decide for yourself. Don’t make them regret their chance of plans for you.
Conclusion
The steps mentioned above are an effective approach to convincing your parents. You don’t have to rebel or deceive them, instead, work towards understanding and convincing them strategically knowing that they love you and would always want the best for you.
Have you been forced into a career before? Let me know how you handled it in the comments box.
