by Abu Hafsah | Sep 25, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
It is obvious that people are different because we are a product of our mindset, likes, family, environment and so on. We tend to behave or give priority to things depending on how who we are. How a relationship and marriage is, also depends on that. And again, we all want to be with our soulmates eventually, don’t we? In order to ensure a happy relationship or marriage, you need to look out for the below-mentioned signs that you found your soulmate.
Let’s go right into them!
Signs to Look Out on to Ascertain If You’ve Found Your Soulmate or Not
1. You Share Almost the Same Likes and Dislikes
One of the signs that you found your soulmate is when you have almost the same likes and dislikes. You should put it at the back of your mind that it’s not possible for you to find someone having exactly the same likes and dislikes as you, but make sure they have the majority of your likes, most especially what you know you can’t compromise on.
Check if they like doing the things that you love to do during your leisure time. More so, check if they have the same passion for something that means so much to you like you. Ascertain whether or not they are good to go on this aspect.
You found your soulmate if they have the greater percentage of your likes and dislikes. If not, most especially on the most important ones to you, you haven’t. I advise you to search elsewhere.
2. You Have a Compatible Genotype
Genotype is one of the tests that every couple intended to settle down should undergo or take. Ascertain whether or not if you guys are compatible by taking the test. If the result turns out to be AA + AA, you are good to go, AA + AS, good to go, and AA + SS, good to go as well. However, if it turns out to be AS + AS, it’s a disaster, AS + SS is an atomic bomb, while SS + SS is a weapon of mass destruction.
So, if the result comes out in your favour, you have found your soulmate in that aspect, nevertheless, if it isn’t, you haven’t.
The result of this test is very paramount because it will affect the children you both are going to have. In general, if you are AA, you can marry any person with any other genotype, but if you are AS or SS, make sure you look for someone with AA to settle down with, else, the possibility of giving birth to children with sickle cell is very high.
You wouldn’t want that, would you?
3. You Have the Same Idea of a Family
The idea of what a family differs from one person to another. To some, a family is one with a husband and wife with many children while it’s the one with fewer children to some. Others may see it as one comprising of just a husband and wife without any children.
Regardless of how people see it, ensure that the person you intend to settle down with has the same idea of a family like you. I beg you not to compromise on this in order to avoid a lot of ugliness later.
Congratulations if you’ve found your kind of person in this regard. This is surely one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
4. They Are as Religious/Social as You
This is another very important sign to look out for if you want to know whether or not you have found your soulmate. Check out if they are as religious as you or as social as you’re. If they are, you’ve found your soulmate, and you haven’t if otherwise.
As a religious person, you will love to have a family that your religion’s ethics and rules are the ones governing the affairs of your family and nothing else. And as a social person, you would love to be spontaneous; the traditional or western ways of life will be your choice of how you want your family to be. You wouldn’t want something else, would you?
I pray the one you find will be your type.
5. Their Family’s Ethics Are Just like Yours
The kind of family one is brought up in has a great influence on the kind of person they turn out to be, mostly. Whatever is obtainable in your family is what you see as normal and any other way is abnormal. This is because each and every family have their ethics and the way they do things.
For instance, in most northern family settings, strangers are not allowed into houses without any permission. Even with permission, you can’t just barge into the house without any prior notice that you will. In some other families, you are free to come in and go out of a house as you please.
Regardless of how your family is, as long as that’s exactly what you want, ensure you find someone with the same type of family. If you find that kind of person, you know they are your soulmate in this aspect, and not if otherwise.
6. If You Happen to See a Friend in Them
Your partner is someone who is expected to be your friend. Relationships that began with friendship tends to last longer than those that didn’t. If they are your friend, they will tend to understand you more; you can also laugh, play, and crack jokes together – do a lot of fun things together. Life is too short so why don’t we just enjoy it while it lasts?
If you don’t’ find a friend in them, all those listed cool stuff cannot be achievable. The house is going to be so boring. Trust me.
Ensure they are your friend and not just your partner. This is undoubtedly one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
7. When They Are Very Caring
The heart tends to love the person that cares for it. Your partner is caring to you if they care and support you in whatever positive thing that you do. This behaviour is aimed at reducing your distress or problems and supporting you in coping with your efforts in situations of either threat or challenge. It also entails them preserving and protecting your wellbeing regardless of whether they are accompanied by care and concern or not.
In marriages, there are lots of ups and downs – misunderstandings and fights, happy moments and miserable ones. If they are caring, they will make you feel more valuable and loved in happy moments and less miserable in moments of distress.
Therefore, if your partner is caring enough, then you have found your soulmate. If it’s otherwise, I advise you to quit the relationship.
8. They Always Put You First
We all have lots of things to do which are very important. Well, the idea of how ‘important’ something is to one differ from one person to another depending on how they see it. Regardless, however busy they are, they must try and create time for you and just you. You should also be at the top of their preference list. This excludes situations where they need to put you behind some things.
For instance, they have this promotion examination in their workplace and you need them close to you because you are somewhat ill or lonely. Or say, they have school fees to pay or house rent and you need to buy an item of clothing for pleasure or whatever reason it is. Of course, those problems surpass yours.
In general, you should always be put first in whatever is obviously less important than you. If they always put on one complaint or other to avoid you, you haven’t found your soulmate yet. However, if they always put you first, my dear, you have found your soulmate.
9. They Appreciate Your Every Little Effort
Everyone needs to be shown gratitude whenever they do something good. Your partner should always appreciate your every effort however little it may be. For instance, when you stock her store with foods stuff, buy her fancy clothes, or even pay her bills – even though it’s kind of your responsibility, she should be grateful and show appreciation towards that effort. And as a lady, when you make up for him, dress and smell nice, buy him gifts on occasions of relevance to him, he should thank you enough too.
This is surely one of the signs that you found your soulmate.
Conclusion
Soulmates are trucks of joy. They are the best things that can ever happen to anyone. If you’ve been with one before, or know someone who is with their soulmate, you surely will testify this assertion.
I advise before you embark on any relationship or marriage, ensure you look out for the above-mentioned signs that you have found your soulmate. As I said, you can’t find someone exactly like you, nowhere in the world does that kind of person exist. However, ensure they have the majority of the mentioned attributes.
Kindly tell us what you feel about this and also tells us other signs one can tell that they have found their soulmate in the comments section below.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 25, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
Have you been pondering over the things you need to know or do before marriage? If yes, you’re at the right place! Just stay with me as I guide you through some marriage preparation tips.
Most of the marriages that crumbled, crumbled not because the couples aren’t in love, but because they failed to know some things that they ought to have known before even settling down. You wouldn’t want to have a failed marriage, would you?
The moment you decide to marry, know that you have embarked on a journey and there are important things to know and take along with you. Here are some marriage preparation tips to guide you through this journey:
Marriage Preparation Tips
1. Make Up Your Mind
This may sound easy, but trust me, if you carelessly overlook it, you will have yourself to blame.
Making up one’s mind is about coming to terms with their mind; they have to be on the same page. You can’t want to do something while your mind is thinking differently.
You do not want to prepare for a marriage you are not confident in, or still have lingering doubts about; this is a strong factor that could lead to failure in marriages.
2. Pray About It
Having made your mind up on settling down, as normal or conventional as it may sound, you need to pray. The northern part of Nigeria is arguably the most religious part of the country – Islam and Christianity and the two major religions. Both religions believe that whenever you set your mind on doing something, only your efforts or hard work won’t suffice, you also have to pray about it.
After all, marriage is not like an item of clothing, when it gets old or no longer fits you, you discard or give it to another person, NO. It’s a lifetime something. You need God’s interference, don’t you?
Prayer is the key to everything. So pray!
3. Discuss Responsibilities
To avoid responsibility clashes here and there, you need to discuss responsibilities.
There are of course responsibilities in every household. There is a need for you two to discuss and share those responsibilities. Some responsibilities are peculiar to men (like fending for the family) while others are to females (like childbearing, tidying up the house, etc.), and some are for both.
However you decide to share, it is ok as long as no one feels overburdened or cheated. Ensure to make it very clear.
You could also read on: Managing Shared Responsibilities.
4. Have a Role Model Couple
Having a role model is one of the marriage preparation tips you need to put into consideration. That role model could be some influential persons, friends, relatives, or even your parents. You chose them because they’ve been in marriage for a long time and have amassed themselves with a wealth of marital experiences.
They will come in handy when you have a problem with your spouse that needs to be resolved.
5. Try to Be Independent
In a typical northern Nigerian setting, a wife is a very dependent being. She engages in little or no productive stuff but is very productive when it comes to demand. As a female, you do not want to be that; your husband will love you less.
Most men nowadays do not even want a dependent woman, we prefer an independent woman – a woman who does some things for herself and can come to the aid of the family when the need arises. Unfortunately, some men nowadays have their eyes on their partner’s money. Guys, when you become too demanding, she gets tired of you too – it’s a two-way thing.
My advice for you is, try as much as possible to be independent.
Related:How Being Independent Can Keep You From Breaking Up.
6. Take a Genotype Test
Genotype is the genetic makeup of an individual passed from his parents. We have 4 types of genotypes: AA, AS, SS, AC. As an AA, you can marry any person regardless of their genotype – as a matter of fact, it is more advisable to not marry an AA, but any other genotype.
You and your partner must go for this test and be sure you two are compatible. If you aren’t, forget about that marriage. I know it’s not easy, but it’s better than what you will face in the future.
Go for that test NOW if you haven’t.
7. Be Yourself
Being you as one of the marriage preparation tips is paramount for a successful marriage. Do not be deceptive, show your true self – this doesn’t imply that if you have a bad habit, keep it, NO, change it. Let your partner get to know the real you so they don’t see someone different in you that they already know after marriage.
A piece of advice from me to you is “Never lie to satisfy somebody for a moment because the pain that you cause them in the future can last them for a lifetime”.
Please, be YOURSELF!
8. Mind Your Expenditure
One of the marriage preparation tips I’ll be sharing with you is ‘being mindful of your expenditure‘ – this is mostly for men. You need to know that you are about venturing into something way different from the life of a single person. Scale-preference your needs and concentrate on only the important ones.
Do not be tempted to go overboard when spending. Begin to train yourself to spend wisely, that skill will come in handy in your marital life.
9. Decide on Family Size
Deciding on the size of the family you both need or want is an important marriage preparation tip. You should know that a large family size comes with greater responsibilities and vice-versa.
Decide on the number of children you intend to have, and advisably, that should be proportionate to your income and available time – you need money to take care of the family needs and your children need your time as well.
Please, do not give birth to children you cannot cater for; that would be a very cruel thing to do to your children and society at large.
10. Be Obedient and Respectful
You need to be obedient and respectful to your partner. This mostly goes to females. You need to know that we men have ego and pride the size of Mount Everest. We, humans, want to be obeyed and respected by people or our subordinates, but for men, hmm, it’s something else. My dear future bride, have that obedience and respect coming your husband’s way non-stop.
Do not relent on this, DO NOT!
11. Stop Thinking Me, but Us
You need to know that marriage involves two people doing things together for the whole of their lives. As a result, you need to stop thinking about yourself whenever you want to do or say something, you should always consider your partner’s wishes and wants as well. Considering each other not only avoids unpleasant situations but strengthens your marriage beyond negative external forces.
12. Avoid Pre-Marital Sex
This is a big one. In the modern-day world, pre-marital sex has become a normal thing. Unfortunately, some tribes in Nigeria encourage it. However, it isn’t a good practice. There are repercussions to the act.
It brings about less trust in your partner on the issue (sex). You will be suspecting your partner whenever you see them with the opposite sex or when they are not around – say, when they come back home late, or when they are on a business or an official trip. And ‘trust’ my dear, is very important in a marriage. The moment you start suspecting your partner, that marriage is dead already.
Another advantage of not having pre-marital sex is that you don’t get to have a preference, whatever and however your man or woman is, you will be content, mostly.
So, my advice for you is, DON’T engage in pre-marital sex.
13. You Need to Be Patient
Whether it’s marriage or business, patience is the first rule of success
William Feather
One of the marriage preparation tips worth noting is ‘being patient’. There are lots of ups and downs in marriages. No marriage is free from troubles and hurdles. You have to find a way to deal with them as they come, and the best way to achieve that is by being patient with your partner and your marital life.
14. Test Their Patience Too
You will need to know how patient your partner is in terms of misunderstanding. For me, the best way to do that is by getting in a good fight – a very good one intentionally, and then see how they react. If they react favourably, then go for them, and if they react violently, I suggest you leave them. Do you know why? Because there are lots of ugly fights waiting for you in marriage, you do not want to take them (the fights) lightly.
15. Talk about Faith (Religion)
Before venturing into any marriage, talk about religious beliefs with your partner. It’s much easier if you’re both practicing the same religion because all you need to do is decide when and how religious practices should be carried out in the family. If you practice different faiths, you seriously need to have that talk.
Religion is a very sensitive thing now. Ensure that you set boundaries you both should not cross and respect each other’s faith. Any mistake could be disastrous. You should also decide on the faith of your children, the earlier you do that, the better.
You could also read on: Why Setting Boundaries in a Relationship is Important
16. Learn to Forgive
Another important marriage preparation tip worth practicing is ‘forgiveness’. Whenever your spouse upsets you and asks for forgiveness, forgive them. Forgive them even if they don’t ask for it, at least, so you could have a rest of mind.
Do not continue to dwell on previous mistakes of your partner because more are coming. When the problems become much, you lose control of yourself. So, forgive them to have a healthy marriage.
17. Be a Supporter
As a future husband, know that you need to support your future wife in terms of providing for her basic needs, and in whatever good she’s doing. And as a future wife, you need to be like a backup plan for your husband – be that kind of wife that your husband can rely on or fall back to when he is down financially or emotionally.
Support each other in good and unfortunate times.
Conclusion
There are tons of marriage preparation tips, some of which I haven’t included in my write-up – like trust, honesty, being faithful, trustworthy, etc. This is because I didn’t want to bore you with a lot to read. Notwithstanding, the above-mentioned tips should be enough guide for you to consider before tying the knot.
If you find this article interesting, please leave a comment on the comments section below, and also tell us other marriage preparation tips I haven’t mentioned. Thank you.
You could also read on: 10 Things Every Marriage Needs and 10 Things to Do at the Start of Every Relationship.
by Happiness Hassan | Sep 23, 2021 | Family & Parenting
Words are powerfully endowed with the ability to build and destroy, encourage or discouraged, captivate or demoralize. Therefore, one must be mindful of the kinds of words used while communicating, especially to kids. As a parent, there are lots of things you should never say to your child if truly you desire the best for them. Unfortunately, most parents fall victim to this parenting mistake to be avoided, unconsciously at the detriment of their kids who hold onto every word spoken to them.
10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Child
1. Never Say to Your Child “You’re a Failure”
The dawn of a new day is another opportunity to better one’s life. Hence, it’s wrong to assume that your child is a failure mainly because they made a slight mistake. There is a lot of room for improvement, if only you make your child view life from the standpoint of progressive growth.
Moreover, using the word ‘failure’ on a child tarnishes their passion to try that same thing again or do anything captivating for fear of being insulted by their parents.
2. Why Can’t You Be Like the Other Kids?
The above statement is a destructive rhetorical question to ask your child. They can’t provide an answer to your question but within them, they begin to feel worthless, unloved, and ashamed of themselves. Gradually, he/she begins to withdraw from their peers to avoid being mocked.
Moreover, as a parent, never compare your child to another, for everyone has his or her strengths and weaknesses. The best you could offer your child is to help them discover their passion and give them your maximum support.
3. Avoid the “I Don’t Love You” Statement.
No matter how angry you’re with your child to the point of employing the violent method of disciplining a child, never say to your child I don’t love you. It’s wrong and can destroy a child emotionally, intellectually, morally, and otherwise. The home is the platform where kids learn the right attitude of love. However, if it’s not properly done in the home, the child gets the wrong concept of love and replicates it in the larger society – hurting other people.
4. Never Say to Your Child You’ll Never Get It Right.
As a parent telling your kids they will never get it right is one of the things you should never say to your child. Unfortunately, most parents feel that this kind of word helps challenge the child to do better. On the contrary, it encourages a child to remain average and endanger their self-esteem. Instead, join your kids in doing what may appear difficult to them rather than criticizing them for not getting it right.
5. I Regret Giving Birth to You Shouldn’t Be Used to Address Your Child
No matter how frustrated you may feel as a parent, most especially a single parent raising a child, know that it is extreme to tell your child you regret giving birth to him/her. That statement is wrong and is similar to disowning that child.
However, the more you express your frustration towards a child, the thinner the love between you and your kids will become.
6. Avoid The Statement; Let Me Handle It for You
There are lots of benefits attached to letting your kids make their own decisions for themselves. Therefore, it’s wrong to interrupt your kids with the comment; let me handle it. This is mainly because you feel they can’t do it to your satisfaction most especially household chores assigned to kids. As simple as these words may look, they go a long way in making your child feel imperfect.
7. It’s Wrong to Use “I’m Busy, Stop Disturbing Me” as an Excuse for Your Kids
Among the things you should never say to your child is; you’re too busy for them. Giving such excuses is common with parents who are struggling to balance work and family together. However, instead of shutting your kids up when they interrupt your activities, choose to suspend your activity and attend to your kids or talk to them calmly about your engagement and fix a better time.
8. Recommending Big Boys and Girls Don’t Cry Techniques to Your Kids
As a parent, never find yourself advising your kids to numb their emotions when faced with all sorts of circumstances. It isn’t a sign of weakness when they choose to cry or get angry when they make mistakes, but you must guide them on how to recognize and control their emotions so they don’t go extreme.
9. You Have a Bad Character
It’s about time you stop highlighting the faults of your kids and enhance their strength. Fortunately, the more their strength grows, the more their faults begin to disappear. In addition, calling your kida liar, noisemaker, or addressing them as being greedy, selfish, naughty among others are parts of those things you should never say to your child despite what they have done.
10. “You Will Never Be Like Me” Is a Wrong Word Used to Communicate with Kids
As a parent, know that you’re the first role model for your child. Therefore, you need to be mindful of how you live your life in the presence and absence of your kids. Irrespective of how successful you have become, don’t discourage your children from aspiring to reach higher goals in life by telling them they will never be like you. Instead, guide them on the part of success.
Conclusion
To regulate the kinds of words you use when communicating with your child, picture yourself in their shoes and examine how you will feel if someone else used such words on you. Certainly not happy. Hence, always weigh your words before you alter them for your kids.
Feel free to share your opinion on the types of words not to use for children in the comment section below.
by Aisha Zakari | Sep 18, 2021 | Relationships & Weddings
There should never be inequality and disrespect in a relationship but rather, your partner should let you be you and do you. In this article, I’ll be running you through things your partner should never ask you to do.
“I love you to the moon and back, I’ll do anything for you”
“I’ll move mountains, heaven, earth and then swim across the ocean, just to do anything for you”
Yes, when we’re in a relationship, it’s only natural you’d want to do all and anything for the person you love but an ideal and great partner is someone who is always supportive, loving, trustworthy, thoughtful, and above all, has your best interest at heart.
10 Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You to Do
1. Give up Something You Love
I know relationships call for sacrifices but not a complete submissive one where it makes you unhappy or does things you don’t want to.
Your partner asking you to give up on something you love means they are asking you to give up on what makes you whole, what gives you peace of mind, what makes you sane, and what makes you happy. This is selfish of your partner as they are not putting your interest at heart and this is non-negotiable.
2. Quit Something You Love
This is something I’ve noticed is mostly done to ladies. You tend to give up your love for a hobby – hair styling, baking, cooking, fashion designing, or law career.
Yes, you love your partner to the moon and back but accepting to quit what you love for them is not proof of your love at all. If your partner is asking you to quit something you love and is not at least compensating you with something greater that is comforting – this should be a NO.
If you’re asked to quit your job which is a pay of 250k monthly and they are willing and able to give you that 250k to do so, now that’s negotiable. This is one of the things your partner should never ask you to do.
3. Put up With Unacceptable Behaviours from Friends and Family
When it comes to things your partner should never ask you to do, this should not even be a topic of discussion and should not be accepted no matter how much you want to move that mountain for them. Let that mountain remain the way it is, don’t move it.
“We want you to stop working”
“I want you to be a full-time housewife”
Their friends and family should accept you for who you are and not be rude to you, or even ask you about things you don’t want to. There should be respect from both parties. Remember, your partner even asking this of you should be telling you he only cares, values, and cherishes his own and that is wrong. Your partner’s love towards you is how their parents will love you – let him love and treat you right.
In general, your partner should not ask you to accept unacceptable/uncomfortable behaviors from friends and family and you definitely should not ask that of him too.
Your partner should not ask you to do things in the bedroom you’re not comfortable with. Take, for instance, you hate doggy style/anal sex or you hate it when he uses objects on you, you talk to him about it. Him asking you to tolerate such should not be a topic of discussion, make it clear that you do not like such.
4. Keeping You Away from Friends and Family
Your partner should never ask this of you but here, there’s room for negotiation which is limiting the time you spend out with friends and family due to the kids, your safety, chores, or your career. Our husbands are our kings and as such we should always respect them.
But when they start asking you to not spend time with your friends and family at all, that’s when you don’t accept. They should know you cherish and love your friends and family and that’s selfish of them to ask such.
5. Coverup for Domestic Violence
First off, speak up if you’re being battered in your own matrimonial home – cry out for help, talk to friends and family. Say NO to abusive and domestic violence.
Your partner should not ask you to lie or cover up a bruise they gave you due to a mistake you made neither should they ask you not to tell your friends and family. There’s no reason or justification for such an act.
Your partner should never lay their hands on you, ever. This is harmful to you, your health, and your kids as you’re subconsciously ruining what marriage should be for them.
6. Change Yourself Completely
Your partner should not ask this of you and you should never accept this. You’re YOU and that’s your superpower.
A partner asking this of you is only abandoning you both emotionally and physically – and you should never feel alone and abandoned in a relationship. It’s a relationship remember, it takes two to work.
Your partner rather should love and accept you for who you are, correct you when you’re in the wrong, support you, and guide you.
7. Do Drugs
Among the things your partner should never ask you to do, this is my second best. Your partner should not tell you to pick up bad habits and you should never accept this in a bid to move a mountain. Picking up bad habits like doing drugs is harmful to you, your health, and the relationship and it is unhealthy.
Such a partner tends to have a controlling edge over you and trust me, you don’t want that. A controlling personality weakens you, your strength and restrains you from having your own free will of thinking. Stand up and say NO to drugs.
8. Agree to/with Everything They Tell You
Saying “Yes love” every time to your partner is unhealthy especially when you’re being compelled to. You should tell them the truth and they should listen and understand if they are wrong and make adjustments too if need be.
You’re entitled to your opinions, options, and saying ‘no’ to something you find wrong. Tell them the truth always, that’s how you move mountains not by lying because you’re trying to please them. Always stand your right – let them hear the truth. This is a thing your partner should not ask you to do.
9. Give up Your Religion
Changing your beliefs, values, and religion just because you’re trying to please someone and showing them you love them should never cross your mind. Never sacrifice that just because they ask you to.
I know people change religions but that is because they want to and that is okay, we respect everyone’s decision without judging them but do not change your religion just because they ask you to.
No, stand for your right and tell them you won’t, but if the thought crosses your mind, let it be that you’re doing that for you and not for them. If that mountain doesn’t want to stay because you said NO, then let it move in another direction.
10. Include Someone into Your Sexual Life
When it comes to things your partner should never ask you to do, this is my top 1. Your partner even asking this should be an eye-opener that they do not value what they have with you neither do they respect your body.
Your partner should not ask you to have a threesome with us friends or your friends or some stranger from the street. You also should not think of accepting this and it is non-negotiable as this is preposterous. If your love and sex life is boring, there are things you could do like see a therapist or start all over again and if it’s not working, there are other people who will move mountains for you.
Conclusion
Your partner should never ask you to be someone else other than your true and original self. Don’t let them pressure you into doing things that make you uncomfortable just because you’re trying to please them – it’s a relationship, lookout for signs of a controlling person before going into it.
Communicate about what they might be doing as some might be doing so without their knowledge but never, do not negotiate your happiness because you want to move that mountain to please them.
I might have missed a thing or two, comment below, and let’s talk about it.
by Abu Hafsah | Sep 17, 2021 | Personal Growth
“Haaah! I’m tired and I have this assessment coming up soon. I need to study. What do I do?” If you are in this kind of situation, don’t fret, I have come up with different ways to motivate yourself to study even when everything seems not right – with you or within your environment.
Tiredness could be a result of stress or weather condition. This article seeks to tell you ways you can motivate yourself to study even when you are tired. Let’s dive into it!
14 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Study Even When Tired
1. Set Goals and be Mindful of Them
Setting a goal is one of the ways to motivate you to study. This is very important whenever you want to achieve anything meaningful in life. Before you even begin to read, you must have something at stake or there must be a reason why you need to study in the first place. Now that’s your goal. Tell yourself “I’m on an important journey and I can’t afford to back down at this moment”.
Even though you are tired, when you remember your set goal(s) – say your examination is coming up in a few weeks and you need to pass, or you have a presentation, seminar, workshop, or even a lecture to make on something in a few days, you will surely rise and pick up that book.
2. Want to Motivate Yourself to Study, Try Taking a Shower or Bath
Taking a shower or bathing after a stressful day is one of the ways to motivate yourself to study. This may sound funny to you, but it isn’t to me and anyone who has tried it. Freshening up has a special way of relieving you of the stress you feel. According to research, taking a shower or a hot bath can help us feel better about ourselves.
After a stressful day, take a nice warm shower and try to relax, as it’s known that when we feel better physically, we get more confident in ourselves, the more convinced we are up to the challenges ahead.
Also, I suggest you quickly look at how a hot bath can clean off a day’s stress here.
Whenever you are tired but still need to study, don’t hesitate. Just take a shower!
3. Set a Reward for Yourself
Sounds childish right? Ok fine. Consider this scenario and then we’ll see if you still feel the same:
Fatima – a customer care agent in an establishment, needed to study for an examination which she hasn’t prepared for it well the following day, but she was tired because of work. She needed rest but can’t because of what’s at stake. She recently caught her husband in an act of infidelity which hurt her so much. He has been apologizing for weeks since the incident but never did she forgive him, though deep down, she wants to so peace could reign in the family. To motivate herself, she decided “I will forgive my husband if I pass my examination”. That was all it took. She passed her exams and her family is back to normal!
Everyone wants to be appreciated when they do something good. That was her way of rewarding herself.
Do you still see it as childish? I bet NO!
4. Breakdown the Material
I remember one time during my days in the university; I had a big material on Geomorphology to study – the kind that will scare an average student. So, I kept on worrying and thinking of how to go about studying the material. Behold! I got found the way. It was like a voice came down from the sky and said to me “break down that material into chunks” which I did. Since then, I hardly get scared of studying, no matter how voluminous the material is.
You can also do that. I understand the situation where one is tired but still has to study because of a test, examination, and the likes. Trust me, I have been there. But not to worry, just try and break that material into smaller units so that reading and comprehending the content becomes less tasking, and doesn’t scare you.
You may decide to pick topic by topic or chapter by chapter. Just remember that your choice should be strictly related to your intellectual ability.
5. Study Bit By Bit
One of the ways to motivate yourself to study is by studying the material bit by bit. Because you are already tired, you will most definitely feel lazy to read even though you know you have to study because of the situation at hand, do not go for the entire material at a blow. You should consider reading item by item or paragraph by paragraph – whichever one works for you at the moment.
By so doing, you won’t be bored and at the same time, you are on the course of achieving your goals. As they say, “slow and steady wins the race”.
6. Get an Active Study Friend
Having an active study friend could go a long way in motivating you to study when you are tired. They could be messiahs depending on how keen they are to studying. They are those kinds of people that they not only love to read but have a passion for it. I bet you can’t be relaxed or lazy when you have such friends around you. Attend tutorials together, or have group discussions on the subject matter.
They are those kinds of friends that set your butt on fire to enable you to get to space regardless of how tired you are.
If you don’t have one, get one now!
7. Remind Yourself That It Won’t Last Forever
One of the ways to motivate yourself to study when tired is by telling yourself “this shit ain’t gonna last forever”. Of course, no study lasts forever, there is surely a time when it will come to an end. That’s what you should be looking at, not the stress.
This has helped me a lot, and I strongly believe it will help you too.
8. Setting a Timer or Reminder
Setting a timer as one of the ways to motivate yourself to study, is very important. Here, you don’t need to purchase expensive timers to be able to achieve this, your mobile phone can do. Unlock that phone, set the alarm on a desirable time, then relax on your comfy bed, chair, couch, or maybe sleep.
Since you are tired, I suggest you take a nap, then wake up to the alarm you set. This way, you get to study and study well without much stress.
9. Get Something to Eat or Chew
As funny as it may look or sound, getting something to eat or chew can help you get motivated to study when you are tired or sleepy. I have tried that, times without a number. A university friend of mine is like that; she made it a habit because it always works for her, whether she’s tired or not.
Oftentimes, tiredness has a tendency of making one sleepy, but by eating (popcorn, chin chin, peanuts, etc.) or chewing (chewing gum), you are hindering yourself from sleeping by keeping yourself busy – busy in a sweet way.
This will definitely motivate you to study.
10. Start from the Simple to the Complex
Let’s say, for instance, you have five materials to study for an examination. It will be in your best interest to start with topics or materials that are easy to understand, from there, you can graduate to a more difficult one. Perhaps, the simple topics or materials have a link to the more complex ones. This will give you an added advantage.
By so doing, you won’t feel the stress or tiredness because you know you are starting from easy to complex. Surely, this is one of the ways to motivate yourself to read.
11. Stay Away from Distractions
Do away with anything that can cause any form of distraction to you. You will have to make sure that you are fully focused else, negativity will set in. Make sure the environment is quiet if you want it that way, no televisions playing, no ‘clingy’ wife or husband, video game, etc. Ensure you have a clean environment free from anything capable of distracting you. This is one of the sure ways to motivate yourself to study.
12. Repeating One Thing or a Few Things
One of the fastest ways of retaining or being able to recall something is when you say it over and over again. Not to worry, it won’t be bothersome because you have only a thing or a few things to be repeating.
You could just pick up the material, determine the point where you want to study – like a terminology definition, keep repeating it while still with the material. The moment it sticks to your brain, drop the material and continue memorizing by repeating. By so doing, you are studying and relaxing. Isn’t that great?
13. Want to Be Motivated to Study, Try Sleeping
Sleeping has a way of taking off the stress and tiredness in you. You may not have enough time to do so because you have some studying to do, but believe me, no matter how little the time you set for yourself to sleep, it will be worthwhile.
The moment you wake up, you will have enough energy to deal with the situation at hand – studying.
14. Have Someone Worthy of Competing With
If you are a student, there may be probably someone you fully acknowledge they are better than you academically in your class, or if you are a lecturer, teacher, or an instructor, there is someone whom you know is better than you in whatever it is that you do or whom you are looking up to.
If you have that kind of people around you, healthily compete with them. You may be tired and/or bored or sleepy, but by just reminding yourself ‘I have someone I need to beat’, you surely will get motivated to study.
Do you want to be motivated? Have a worthy competitor!
Conclusion
Studying can be hard most especially when you are tired. I have firsthand experience. Sometimes, they become so necessary that you have to study in that kind of situation. Since that’s the case, you should have some techniques or ways which you should use to motivate you to study.
I have compiled these for you, try and use them in the best possible ways you can and wait to achieve success.
If this article is of help to you, kindly leave a comment for me in the comments section. Do you think I left out some points? Please share with us all. You could also tell us how you overcame your situation. Thank you.
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