7 Proven Steps That Will Help You Get Over an Ex Quickly

Written by Abu Hafsah

Bappa Al-Ameen is a Geographer and an Educationist. He loves to write in his leisure time - mostly on relationships, weddings, and personal growth, and do computer related tasks. More so, he is a dedicated fellow, very time-conscious, easy-going and down to earth.

August 21, 2021

Do you have an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you seriously want to get rid of in your mind? Do you have an ex-wife or ex-husband you wish to take off your mind? If yes, then you are in the right place, and if no, no problem, you can still learn to be used at a later date if the occasion calls for that, or share with a friend, colleague, or family who needs to get over an ex.

As the saying goes “anything that has a start, must have a stop”. Relationships are like that, be it a marriage relationship or boy/girl relationship.

When it finally comes to an end, there is a need for you to keep your ex off your mind so they don’t hinder you from moving on. Stay with me as I walk you through the steps that will ultimately guide you to get over an ex:

Proven Steps to Get Over Your Ex Quickly

1. Make Up Your Mind 

This may sound simple, but it needs great courage to be able to get yourself in that state of mind, most especially if you are still fond of that person.

The first thing you need to do is to fully make up your mind to get over that ex of yours. You need to accept that you two have broken up for whatever reason it was.

You can’t be having any lingering doubt on whether you still want them or not. If you aren’t sure of getting over them, then you cannot be assisted.

Always know that your mindset has a great role to play in helping you achieve a set goal.

2. Do Not Depend on Them Anymore

This is a very important step. To get over an ex, you need to see how you can start getting hold of your life and begin to take responsibility by doing things yourself; pay your bills, buy your clothing, get your foodstuff, and so on all by yourself. Remember, he/she is gone and gone for good. You shouldn’t be expecting anything from now henceforth.

Being independent can be stressful most especially if you are the dependent type, but I promise you it will be fun once it gets into your system well. If they are still noticing you, they will know for sure you’ve moved on.

It may interest you to read on how to raise a kid as a single parent.

3. Ignore Them 

This may be easy or hard depending on the depth of your affection for them. But I believe that one’s determination will lead them to achieve greater dreams they never would have thought they would be able to. 

You need to ignore their calls and text messages if they try to reach you through those means; delete or get rid of all the things that remind you of them (their contacts, photos, text messages, gifts, etc.).

Also, ignore their visits if they do so and if eventually, you find yourself in the same neighbourhood or a gathering that meeting them is inevitable, try not to make eye contact, sit close to them or talk to them or the likes to the best of your ability.

4. Do Not Contact Them 

By trying to get over an ex, you may still feel a thing for them thus, making it difficult for you not to pond of them. If eventually, you find yourself in that kind of situation, you will be tempted to reach out for them (via phone or paying a visit), tell yourself ‘NO, they aren’t worth it’. Instead, find something you like to do; like a hobby and engage yourself with. This will help.

5. Stay Away from Their Friends and Family

In the course of your relationship, you must have been introduced to some of their friends and family members. Even after learning about your break up or separation, they (friends and/or family members) may still wish to keep in contact with you or you may be the one wanting to keep in contact with them. Do not!

No good will come out of that as they will keep reminding you of them, and the more you are reminded of them, the more difficult it will be for you to get over them.

6. Go on a Vacation

Has there been this place you’ve wanted to visit for a long time that you couldn’t as a result of the broken relationship? Yes?

Great! This is a good time to go; go somewhere far away from them. This will help you recuperate quickly and get back to your normal self.

7. Find another Partner

This is the final and most important of all the steps if you intend to get over an ex quickly. Though, getting that instantly can be a terrible idea most of the time. Nevertheless, it works magic! I have testified to that and many others that I know too. To be frank, this always works for me. By doing so, your present partner will fill in the void your ex left thereby, making it easier for you to move on.

Your present partner may not be a perfect replacement, but a sure way to help you in this predicament of yours.

One thing to know is that regardless of whether or not he/she is better than your ex, you will end up achieving your aim.

Related: 12 Factors to Consider When Choosing a Life Partner


Some breakups or divorces can be a result of misunderstanding or mistake, while others are purely intentional; intentional in the sense that both parties want the dissolution of the relationship. If the former is the case, then only a little effort is needed to get over them, but if the latter is the case, then it can be a herculean task. However, the fact that you are here already, your problem is half solved.

Letting go of an ex, most especially one you were very fond of may be very difficult. Some exes are easy to get over with while others, most especially the clingy ones, can be a pain in the butt. Nevertheless, follow the above steps – one after the other or simultaneously, and see yourself becoming a new person free from them and already moving on.

How helpful do you find this article? Please share in the comments section, or if you think I missed out on some steps.

Related: 7 Reasons Why Relationships Fail.

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