9 Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner During An Argument

Written by Aisha Zakari

Zakari Aisha Saliu is a passionate cook who loves to travel and meet new people. Her exposure to places and people is her strength in learning new recipes. She is a diverse and passionate writer on topics related to personal development, humanity, relationships, entrepreneurial skills, and life in general.

October 9, 2021

Relationships have their own ups and downs, compromises and sacrifices, arguments and misunderstandings. But this is completely normal and as a result, there are exceptions to what not to say in an argument with your partner.

With all these, love still remains a beautiful thing and as such there are words and statements to never utter to your partner – even at your angriest. Let’s go through some of those words and statements.

What You Should Avoid Saying in An Argument

1. “You’re Such a Failure”, “You Can’t Do Anything Right”, or “Why Are You Such a Failure in Every Aspect?”

Words above when said will be heartbreaking and shocking to your partner. As such, words like that should not be said to the person you claim to love just because of a misunderstanding.

Words sadly can never be taken back once uttered in the peak of anger and rage. As a result, these words will forever be engraved in their hearts and that might cause ruins in your relationship.  

Unless of course, they have a really strong forgiving heart.

2. “I Wish I Never Met You”, “I Wish I Never Knew You”, or “I Wish I Never Gave You a Chance”

When such words are uttered, you tell your partner you regret everything and anything you two must have been through. Consequently, even if you don’t mean it, the deed has already been done.

This is the worst you can do and say to them as it makes them start having doubt if you ever truly loved them. No matter how pissed you are, this is a thing to avoid saying to your partner as you can never take them back once said.

3. “Do Whatever, You’re Such An Idiot”, “You’re Such An Idiot”, “You’re Mad”, or “You Piece of Shit”

Ever heard of “bridges” in a relationship? In other words, a path that disconnects bonds and foundation? This is what leads to bridges in a relationship.

It tells your partner you don’t respect them, their opinions, and their values. Also, you tell them that you see them as worthless, and even if you don’t mean that, well guess what? You can’t eat your words back now, can you?

4. “Your Parents Are So…”, “Your Mother Is So Full of Herself. Who Does She Think She Is?”, or “Your Father Is So Silly, Why Did He Do That?”

Above all things you should never say in an argument, this is everyone’s top priority. It is quite understandable as families should be highly respected not only in relationships but in general. It is very important and as such, should never be tampered with. Never bring their parents into an argument you both are having.

Words like that really pierce through especially when it’s carried with insults or anything, its best you don’t. There is no justification for this, leave them out of your mouth, always. 

5. “You Shouldn’t Feel This Way”, or “You Shouldn’t Be Feeling This Way About This Issue”

It is not right to tell them how they should feel and how not to feel when in the heat of an argument. You should rather try to calm them down and understand but telling them how they should feel and think is wrong.

You should let them feel and do whatever they want as long as they are not breaking things around the house. People are entitled to their feelings. Therefore, you should understand them in situations like this.

6. “I Don’t Have Time for This”, “I Don’t Have Time for This Shit Right Now”, or “I Don’t Have Time for Your Tantrums Right Now”

These, I’ve seen mostly in the movies and the actor always walks out afterwards and every-time, it annoys. So, therefore, I’ll be including this as what not to say in an argument with your partner. This action is quite hurtful and disrespectful as you’re telling them you don’t care or want to listen to what they have to say.

As a result, you pass the message that you don’t respect them or their opinions and this ruins communication and builds bridges.

7.“I Hate You”, or “You Piss Me Off, I’m Starting to Hate You”

This is just unnecessary and it’s my top on the list when it comes to things you should never say in an argument to your partner.

Consequently, this builds doubt even after you both resolve the issues. The words linger and stays and this leads to mistrust in the relationship and that is why it should be avoided.

8. “Shut up!”, “That’s Dumb”, or “That’s a Lie, Just Shut Up”

These particular words sound dismissive – you’re done talking and whatever it is they have to say, you don’t want to listen.

It’s disrespectful and shouldn’t be uttered unless when you’re being playful and not in the heat of an argument.

You should listen to your partner and give them the chance to talk and explain themselves but don’t dismiss them abruptly.

9. “Bitch/Asshole/Slut/Whore, Fuck You”, “Fuck You, Bitch/Asshole”, or “You’re Lying, You Bitch/Slut”

Here is yet another dismissal tone but this carries heavy words, heavyweight like Mohammad Ali. A partner going as far as insulting one and attributing such words to them is a low blow and not ideal at all.

These are all vulgar words and should not be introduced in a heated conversation with your partner.  And as a result, you might not recover from this one once uttered.

Conclusion

Like I said, relationships are bumpy but learn to train your mind to not lose yourself in the heat of the moment.  If you’re having a hard time, you should check out how to improve your communication skills.

Try this – take the moment to calm down, relax, pause the argument, resolve, and communicate with a cool head.

Patience is indeed a virtue in every relationship. So, be patient, understanding, and have the right use of words.

You could tell us more in the comments section below. Thank you.

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