Beating or Scolding? Which is the Correct Way to Discipline Your Child?

This is why you should stop beating your child

Written by Happiness Hassan

Happiness Hassan is an eloquent writer and an avid reader. She is obsessed with her faith and loves assisting women to become a better version of themselves. Her progress in life is a direct impact of her parent's endless support. That's why she is keen on self-development, parenting, and family niche. She realizes how a healthy relationship between parents and their kids can make our world a better place. In her spare time, she listens to motivational audios. In addition, she enjoys decorating, dancing, singing, and crossword puzzles.

May 24, 2021

The act of spanking children for behaving badly is stored up in the subconscious mind of most parents. Therefore, beating, scolding, spanking and its sorts come like a reflex action. It seems to be the fastest and effective tactic to show disapproval over a child’s wrong deed. However, as a parent, these are negative modes of disciplining your child. These methods are effective for a short period and cause long-term damages to a child.

Discipline is all about guiding, instructing, and training a child about the Dos and Don’ts of behaviour; in essence, teaching them to comply with the right code of conduct. However, when kids go against these rules, they are being forced to face the consequences of their actions through punishment.

It’s disastrous to beat your child without stating their wrong. It passes the wrong message of cruelty to them. Besides, this creates more tendency of repeating that same wrong. Therefore, in this article, we shall be evaluating alternative ways to discipline your child other than beating.

But before that, here is why you should not beat your kids.

Effects of Disciplining Your Child By Beating or Spanking

1. Beating Your Child Instills Fear in Them

Violence towards kids ignites fear in their hearts. They begin to view you as a taskmaster instead of a loving parent. Subsequently, your presence starts terrifying them. These sets of kids wouldn’t love to try anything new or explore with their peers due to fear of being spanked by their parents if they do something wrong.

2. It Results to Poor Cognitive Abilities

Victims of negative discipline lose touch with their minds and brains. They experience difficulty thinking through logical questions or manage their emotions. The danger is this since such a child no longer reason appropriately, they indulge in wrong behaviours innocently and get punished. This circle continues and eventually, the child’s mental health becomes deteriorated.

3. Beating Might Leads to Physical Injury

Mostly, beating a child results in a physical injury. Due to uncontrollable anger, parents go the extra mile in ensuring that children sustain injuries to serve as a reminder. However, this is the wrong way to discipline your child. The physical scars might heal, but the internal scars last longer.

Recently, there have been cases whereby in the act of disciplining a child, the object used gets in contact with delicate organs of the body such as the eyes, resulting in further intense damages. Hence, to avoid regrets, learn to apply alternative methods of disciplining your child.

4. Decreases Love Bond

All parents desire to be closely connected to their kids and would search out activities that can increase the love bond. However, they fail to realize that beating a child makes their initial desires fruitless. It makes no sense telling your kids how much you love them and the next minute you’re spanking them.

In essence, beating gets you detached from your kids.

5. Results in Low Self-Esteem

Beating makes children think less of themselves, and call themselves failures. They begin to feel it’s because they aren’t good enough since they get punished frequently. Gradually, they easily become antisocial.

These kids are prone to negative self-talk and suicidal thoughts since their self-esteem is damaged. You can check out tips to overcome self-esteem.

6. The Kids Resort to Violence and Anger

The more you spank a child, you’re indirectly telling that child that beating is the standard way of showing disapproval when someone does something wrong.

Therefore, when offended by their peers, immediately they retaliate by displaying aggressive behaviours.

Now That You Know the Effects of Beating, This is the Correct Way of Disciplining Your Child

1. Give Them Proper Training

Don’t expect your kids to do the right thing when you haven’t told them what’s expected of them. As a parent, don’t allow your kids to guess their way through. Create time to teach them the Dos and Don’ts of behaviour. They deserve to know! Failure to do this makes your child feel hated when beaten for what they had little or no knowledge about.

Furthermore, ensure they are cognizant of the needful skills that help in regulating their behaviours such as effective communication skills and tolerance etiquette.

2. Teach Them about Consequences

In addition to knowing the right way to behave, your kids still deserve to learn about the consequences of negative and positive behavioural patterns. Let them know that punishments are attached to being disobedient, likewise, the rewards for being obedient.

This will guide them in doing the right thing and save you the stress of beating your child whenever they go wrong.

3. Withdraw Some Privilege When They Are Wrong

This method is based on the privilege enjoyed by your kids. Therefore, when disciplining your child, don’t hesitate to withdraw certain privileges enjoyed by your kids when they go astray. This method teaches them that what they had done was wrong.

For instance, if they are caught fighting, instead of beating them, insist they stay away from TV, video games, or outing with friends for some time. Oftentimes, you need to take back their pocket money for grown-up kids for some time. In addition, add up to their normal home chores as a way of showing disapproval over their manner.

However, don’t go extreme with this method.

4. Reward Good Behaviour

Kids are motivated to do their best next time when they are being rewarded for behaving right. Rewarding them with gifts gives them a reason to continue on that same behavioural path that earns them those rewards, and shy away from negative behaviours.

Let them know which of their behaviours was commended. In addition, you can make disciplining your child a fun activity to do by keeping score sheets and giving stars. Whereby, showcasing a well-mannered behaviour earns them stars and points.

5. Talk With Them

To succeed at disciplining your kids, there will be a time when you need to sit with them and talk – talk about why they misbehave. While they talk, listen attentively. Whenever kids give genuine reasons for their actions or show remorse, as a parent, your anger gets to subside.

Besides, No one is above mistakes, therefore, even with the rules and consequences they can still go astray. Hence, when they make mistakes, sit them down and tell them how disappointed you’re about their behaviours and, how you expected more from them.

Applying this alternative shows them how much you love them.

6. Use Reasoning Techniques

You can discipline your child and at the same tim,e improve their IQ through reasoning techniques. Instead of beating your kids for doing the wrong thing, give them reasoning punishments.

For instance, when your kids go wrong, ask them to write a letter stating what they did, why they did it, and a letter of apology with a specific word count. Two copies for you and two copies for themselves. It will be wise to request that they rewrite if the letters are poorly written.

7. Be a Role Model

Kids are uniquely designed to watch and learn from their parents. Therefore, almost every behaviour they exhibit is copied from what they see their parents do. This is another indicator to help you in disciplining your child.

First, ensure that those things you beat your kids for are not evident in your life. Perhaps, you behave like that subconsciously. Make amends! Be a good role model for your child to emulate.


Parenting isn’t an easy route to trail on. In essence, patience is a vital ingredient in parenting. This helps you not to go extreme when disciplining your child.

However, if as a parent you still struggle to manage your emotions such as anger, it would be difficult not to retaliate when your kid misbehaves. Therefore, work on that temperament. Keep them under control.

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