Inside This Article
- 1 8 Biggest Parenting Failure You should Avoid
- 2 Conclusion
As a parent, I assume there were things you wished your parents had taught you while growing up. Also, there are parenting mistakes you would like to avoid as a parent. Back then, I’m sure you had promised yourself to become a better version of your parents to your kids.
Currently, the ball of parenting is in your court. Instead of finding it easy and interesting as you’ve imagined, reverse the case; you’re struggling to keep up with parenting, indulging in all forms of parenting mistakes to avoid while grooming a child.
The role of parenting is tasking and requires courage to get it right. However, in this post, I will share 8 parenting mistakes to avoid while handling your kids.
8 Biggest Parenting Failure You should Avoid
1. Mr. and Mrs. Busy Outfit
There is a natural urge in parents to provide the necessities of life for their family and there is nothing wrong with that. But in that process, the majority abandon their kids to grow and look after themselves. Perhaps, hand them over to a nanny or a relative to look after while they are engrossed in their jobs, career, business, and personal issues. This approach is dangerous and affects your kids negatively.
As parents, never sacrifice the well-being of your kids for a job that’s extremely demanding and takes you away from them. If that continues their needs and wants will become unnoticeable to you. Hence, spend more time with them by balancing your schedule.
In short, your kid’s happiness is your priority as a parent. That implies being there for them. The more you distance yourself from your kids, the love bond begins to fade, and gradually they see you as a stranger thereby, clinging unto whoever spends more time with them.
2. Imposing Your Will on Your Kids
Know that imposing your will on your kids is one of the parenting mistakes to avoid. Conflict of interest creates disunity in a family. Parents assume they know what suits their kids best, without considering their kids’ opinions. That’s wrong, it kills a child’s creativity and freedom. Furthermore, it steals their happiness.
Yes! You have a right to make choices for your kids, but be open to hearing theirs. Instead of imposing, attempt in convincing them with reasons why their choice may not profit them and how yours would benefit them more.
3. Comparing Your Kids
Psychologically, when you compare your child to others or their siblings, you’re hampering their performance most especially academically. As a parent, cultivate the habit of embracing and celebrating your kids’ uniqueness. Do you want your child to improve? If yes, make them believe in themselves by showing how proud you are of them.
Mallam Usman and his wife had a son who experiences difficulty in spelling and reading fluently. Whereas, his younger siblings were exceptionally brilliant. Rather than comparing him, perhaps highlighting his disability, they chose to encourage him and got him an English tutor.
To their amazement, he picked up so fast and became eloquent in spelling and reading. If you observe closely, this couple didn’t pressure their son through comparison. If they had, it would have affected his self-esteem, check this article to see why self-esteem is important and employ these tactics as a parent.
4. Not Leading By Example
This is another parenting mistake to avoid when handling your kids. As a parent, know that you’re a role model to your kids. Don’t expect them to do as you say while they watch you do the opposite. The way you live your life as a parent is reflected in the upbringing of your kids.
There are certain behaviours you shouldn’t display in front of your kids such as quarreling as couples, it’s wrong and it destabilizes your kids. I advise if there is a misunderstanding between you and your partner, learn to settle it in private and not in the presence of your kids. Next, taking hard drugs or harmful substances while teaching your kids are dangerous to their health. Lead by example as a parent, not by mere instructions. As an adult, you sometimes need mentoring also.Check this to see why mentoring is important.
5. Ignoring Your Kids Passion
Kids are creative and love to explore. As loving parents, one of the gifts you can offer to your child is supporting and promoting their passion, this can be artworks, crafts, singing, dancing, writing, and more. How then can you support them and become their biggest fan when you can’t tell where their passion lies?
Most times, they even walk up to you and showcase their talents. How do you react as a parent? Let’s see, you push them aside, give flimsy excuses, show less interest, ask them to stop bothering you, and come back later. All these behaviours are parenting mistakes to avoid as much as possible. Next time your kid walks up to you, suspend whatever you’re doing at the moment and show some concern. This includes their school work. Check these activities to improve the bond between you and your kids to help you recognize their passion.
6. Extreme Punishment and Under-Discipline
In addition, extreme punishment and under discipline are parenting mistakes to avoid. Parents often find it conflicting to differentiate between disciplining and punishing their kids. Of course, when they do what’s wrong, they should be corrected appropriately, that draws their attention to why they are being punished. However, in that process, some parents may end up inflicting injuries on their children due to anger. It isn’t profitable to discipline a child out of anger; it often results in something outrageous.
In that case, how should you discipline your kids? It is simple, corporal punishment should be avoided, your punishment should be on a minimal scale. Afterward, sit with that child, explain why he was punished and what is expected of him next time. This must be done with love. You can check out other ways you can discipline a child without extreme punishment.
7. Raising Perfect Kids
Thinking of raising perfect kids is one of the parenting mistakes to avoid. There isn’t any perfect being in the world, rather, there is plenty of room for improvement. That’s the mindset you need as a parent when training your kids. The moment you begin to foresee high expectations from your kids, indirectly, you’re paving the way for hatred and bitterness towards your child when they don’t meet up to your set standard.
8. Shying Away from Sex-Talk
As a parent, if you don’t advise your kids on the right way to go about sex in our crazy world, chances are; they get to hear it from other sources which may portray sex in the wrong manner to them. I see nothing wrong with teaching your kids purity and chastity before marriage. This advice would help your kids become better tomorrow even while they are away from you. They should learn about the consequences and damages that are involved in premarital sex and also how to keep themselves away from such.
Also, create time to advise your kids, teach them acceptable characters to imitate and the ones to discard. Train them to stand for what’s right. And no matter the circumstances, they should learn not to compromise their standard.
Being strict with your kids is never going to change or solve anything, learn to become their best friend. Likewise, limiting your kids is another parenting mistake to avoid. Don’t confine them to the walls of your house, allow them to explore and learn other aspects of life.