Do These 11 Things and Your Ex Will Definitely Want You Back

Do These 11 Things and Your Ex Will Definitely Want You Back

Breakups can be very frustrating and depressing. Although some breakups are healthy ones, others can be disastrous; some can be intentional, by mistake or misunderstanding; some could also be your fault and some not. Do you want to win them back? If yes, no problem, just stay with me as I guide you on the ways to get your ex to want you back.

11 Ways to Get Your Ex to Want You Back

1. Make up Your Mind

When your mind is focused and made up, you don’t make excuses. You try. If you fail you try again.

Louis Farrakhan

Like I always say, making up your mind towards trying to achieve something is the first thing to do after considering it. So, make it your goal to get that person no matter what and be optimistic about it. Always remember that you will get nowhere by not trying no matter how difficult it may seem. Don’t linger, don’t fret, just go for it.

Remember, you’ve got one advantage, ‘you were once theirs’ and who knows? They may already want you back! As said:

Make up your mind, Snail! You are half inside your house, and halfway out!

Richard Wright

2. You Want Them Back? Begin to Do Things Yourself

Be independent of them.

One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by beginning to do things yourself if you happened to be someone who was overly dependent or reliant on them to get things done during your broken relationship. Let them see that you can live comfortably without them. That will surely make them begin to see your worth. By just that, they may start considering you back. Isn’t that what you want?

Always remember, nobody… I mean, nobody wants to be dependent on except when it becomes necessary, like that of parents to their children.

3. Dress Well and Smell Nice

Oh, God! Have you any idea how dressing well and smelling nice can get you any lady or guy? If you don’t, you’re welcome. Dressing and smelling nice is how you should always be whether or not you are in a relationship, but it’s a plus when you are trying to get someone’s attention.

Whenever you’re going to be anywhere around them – like going to work, school or class (if you work, school or attend lectures together), you are going to their house or neighbourhood or any place you are sure they are most likely to be there, be sure you are well dressed and smell nice.

Put on that kind of outfit that you know they like. Be elegant, dress to kill, and look very responsible as you do so. Anything is ok as long as you make it hard to be ignored or get unnoticed by them, positively. It’s surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.

4. Stop Acknowledging Their Presence

This is applicable in situations where you had always wanted to be close to them in any way during your broken relationship. Who knows? Perhaps, this habit of yours was what pushed away them in the first place. Even if you weren’t like that, that’s no problem, just make them look less or not important.

When you meet anywhere, whether or not you planned it, do not acknowledge their presence. Do not say things like ‘you look beautiful’, ‘you look takeaway’, or say ‘I miss you’ mistakenly however tempting it may be. Hahaha. If you do that, they will feel important and my dear, you have lost your shot; balance, and aim again next time.

5. Show Them You Care

If you want them back, show them lots of care. Be always there when they need someone, someone LIKE YOU. Never relent on doing or saying anything they show you they want. Try cooking a delicious meal for them – their favourite most preferably, be their first good morning and their last good night. If possible, visit whenever something good or unfortunate happens to them, visit their parents if you can still do that, just anything. Do anything positive to show them they are still well cared for by you.

Doing so will not only score you a chance of winning their heart back, but they get to value you way more than they did before. I guarantee this one of the ways to get your ex to want you back for you.

6. Be Scarce

One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by being scarce. Scarcity creates value or importance. You don’t know that? Now you do! Do not avail yourself to them at all times. Sometimes, what or who you see too often, tends to be of less importance to you – you know that to be true, but when they are not always available at your disposal, their value increases in your sight.

Therefore, do not make yourself available in their presence no matter how hard you want to do that, no matter how difficult it is for your heart as your endures. Just keep at it. The end result will definitely be worth the patience or endurance. That’s how it is.

So, be scarce!

7. Begin to Do Things They Like and Avoid Things They Don’t

Recall what you may have done that ended the relationship, or what they have always wanted you to do that you don’t do. Recall those moments that you hurt them as a result of your actions. Try not to miss every single detail.

When you do, prepare your mind to be a changed person with regards to that. Begin to do things they like and avoid things they do not like. Remember, the heart will almost always want the person who likes what they like and vice versa.

However, if you sincerely know that the breakup wasn’t your fault, then all you need to do is continue to be you and adjust to those things that they don’t like. That way, they will miss being with you and it’s only a matter of time before they come your way, again.

8. Be Smarter Than They Know

Is it just me? But there is something about smart people that makes me attracted to them. Try to improve on your intelligence. If they know you to be this intelligent, be that intelligent, and if they know you to have a low IQ, try and improve by reading books on intelligence, study quotes on intelligence, watch movies related to that, take online courses and the likes.

This may take a long time before it begins to manifest, but you can try, most especially, if you are enjoying the breakup at the moment, but will consider them in the future. Chances are, they are already noticing you, and that’s good.

Don’t worry even if you don’t get them back, at least, you have raised your personal and societal status by being more intelligent. This is surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.

9. Want to Get Them Back? Flirt With Them

This is strictly for divorcees I suggest. You don’t want to flirt with them if you never were married to them before, would you? They may look down on you. But for divorcees, this may be a very good opportunity to shoot your shot.

You already know them very well; what they like and how they react to flirtations. Use that to your advantage. Executing that through phone-calling could not be as effective as sexting. Send them that kind of flirty message that will make them want to touch you so badly.

Flirting with them a little will be of no harm. Try it.

10. Contact Them Less Often

One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by reducing the number of times you call them, or not even calling them at all, depending on the situation. Even if you feel the urge to because you really want to hear from them, DON’T. When you feel the need to visit them as usual, also DON’T. Let them miss your presence, your voice, your sarcasm, your sense of humour, your personality, and all that.

11. Get a Partner or Pretend to Have One

Make them crazily jealous.

Is there that someone whom they know has been crushing on you while you two were together? Consider them. Is there that friend of theirs that has been wanting to get your attention? Consider them. Sounds cruel right? Look at it carefully, it doesn’t. Remember the situation they’ve put you in and you will see reasons why this is an option for you if you want them back. If you are just acting and not serious, be a very good actor. Ensure all the tracks that may lead them to find out you’ve been acting are well blocked.

If they know, they will get really jealous and my dear, that feeling could trigger the love they once had for you. Now, you will be left to decide whether or not to end your present relationship or stop acting. If the former is the case, decide with caution.


Not all ways mentioned above are suitable at all times. They are dependent on how you want them back – is it because you still love them and the breakup was your fault, or you love them and the breakup wasn’t your fault? For instance, you can’t ‘show them care’ if they broke up with you for no reason or for the wrong reason(s). That’s showing low self-esteem. And you can’t be ‘scarce’ when the breakup was actually your fault. Make sure to use the one that suits your situation best.

If you find this article to be interesting or helpful, drop a comment in the comments section. And if you feel something was left out, kindly tell as well. Thank you.

Related: 7 Proven Ways to Get Over Your Ex and 13 Ways to Get Someone Love You.

7 Proven Steps That Will Help You Get Over an Ex Quickly

7 Proven Steps That Will Help You Get Over an Ex Quickly

Do you have an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you seriously want to get rid of in your mind? Do you have an ex-wife or ex-husband you wish to take off your mind? If yes, then you are in the right place, and if no, no problem, you can still learn to be used at a later date if the occasion calls for that, or share with a friend, colleague, or family who needs to get over an ex.

As the saying goes “anything that has a start, must have a stop”. Relationships are like that, be it a marriage relationship or boy/girl relationship.

When it finally comes to an end, there is a need for you to keep your ex off your mind so they don’t hinder you from moving on. Stay with me as I walk you through the steps that will ultimately guide you to get over an ex:

Proven Steps to Get Over Your Ex Quickly

1. Make Up Your Mind 

This may sound simple, but it needs great courage to be able to get yourself in that state of mind, most especially if you are still fond of that person.

The first thing you need to do is to fully make up your mind to get over that ex of yours. You need to accept that you two have broken up for whatever reason it was.

You can’t be having any lingering doubt on whether you still want them or not. If you aren’t sure of getting over them, then you cannot be assisted.

Always know that your mindset has a great role to play in helping you achieve a set goal.

2. Do Not Depend on Them Anymore

This is a very important step. To get over an ex, you need to see how you can start getting hold of your life and begin to take responsibility by doing things yourself; pay your bills, buy your clothing, get your foodstuff, and so on all by yourself. Remember, he/she is gone and gone for good. You shouldn’t be expecting anything from now henceforth.

Being independent can be stressful most especially if you are the dependent type, but I promise you it will be fun once it gets into your system well. If they are still noticing you, they will know for sure you’ve moved on.

It may interest you to read on how to raise a kid as a single parent.

3. Ignore Them 

This may be easy or hard depending on the depth of your affection for them. But I believe that one’s determination will lead them to achieve greater dreams they never would have thought they would be able to. 

You need to ignore their calls and text messages if they try to reach you through those means; delete or get rid of all the things that remind you of them (their contacts, photos, text messages, gifts, etc.).

Also, ignore their visits if they do so and if eventually, you find yourself in the same neighbourhood or a gathering that meeting them is inevitable, try not to make eye contact, sit close to them or talk to them or the likes to the best of your ability.

4. Do Not Contact Them 

By trying to get over an ex, you may still feel a thing for them thus, making it difficult for you not to pond of them. If eventually, you find yourself in that kind of situation, you will be tempted to reach out for them (via phone or paying a visit), tell yourself ‘NO, they aren’t worth it’. Instead, find something you like to do; like a hobby and engage yourself with. This will help.

5. Stay Away from Their Friends and Family

In the course of your relationship, you must have been introduced to some of their friends and family members. Even after learning about your break up or separation, they (friends and/or family members) may still wish to keep in contact with you or you may be the one wanting to keep in contact with them. Do not!

No good will come out of that as they will keep reminding you of them, and the more you are reminded of them, the more difficult it will be for you to get over them.

6. Go on a Vacation

Has there been this place you’ve wanted to visit for a long time that you couldn’t as a result of the broken relationship? Yes?

Great! This is a good time to go; go somewhere far away from them. This will help you recuperate quickly and get back to your normal self.

7. Find another Partner

This is the final and most important of all the steps if you intend to get over an ex quickly. Though, getting that instantly can be a terrible idea most of the time. Nevertheless, it works magic! I have testified to that and many others that I know too. To be frank, this always works for me. By doing so, your present partner will fill in the void your ex left thereby, making it easier for you to move on.

Your present partner may not be a perfect replacement, but a sure way to help you in this predicament of yours.

One thing to know is that regardless of whether or not he/she is better than your ex, you will end up achieving your aim.

Related: 12 Factors to Consider When Choosing a Life Partner


Some breakups or divorces can be a result of misunderstanding or mistake, while others are purely intentional; intentional in the sense that both parties want the dissolution of the relationship. If the former is the case, then only a little effort is needed to get over them, but if the latter is the case, then it can be a herculean task. However, the fact that you are here already, your problem is half solved.

Letting go of an ex, most especially one you were very fond of may be very difficult. Some exes are easy to get over with while others, most especially the clingy ones, can be a pain in the butt. Nevertheless, follow the above steps – one after the other or simultaneously, and see yourself becoming a new person free from them and already moving on.

How helpful do you find this article? Please share in the comments section, or if you think I missed out on some steps.

Related: 7 Reasons Why Relationships Fail.

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