Things You Should Tell Your Daughter Intending to Get Married

Things You Should Tell Your Daughter Intending to Get Married

First off, marriage is a necessity and not a compulsory role to fulfil. However, for those getting married, it’s an honorable act that demands a great deal of courage and advice to scale through. Perhaps, if you have a daughter intending to get married, don’t hesitate to sit her down and offer her marriage advice to daughters who are intending to get married. This advice is important because marriage is a lifetime commitment and not a child’s play.

However, the father’s advice to daughters getting married is quite similar to the mother’s advice to daughters getting married, although they occupy two different positions in a marriage, it certainly takes two individuals who are heading in the same direction to make a marriage successful and blossoming.

15 Things You Should Tell Your Daughter Intending to Get Married

1. Genuine Love as a Crucial Advice to a Daughter Getting Married

When it comes to marriage, love is the foundation that keeps every other aspect of marriage together. That’s why one must get married to someone they truly love, not under the influence of external factors like money, family name, coercion among others.

As parents offering marriage advice to daughters ensure to tell them that marriage is all about sacrifice, oftentimes choosing one’s partner’s choice over theirs and this is only possible when there is genuine love—not determined by what one’s partner does right or wrong.

2. Let Her Know That Patience and Tolerance are Keys to a Happy Marriage

The pathway of marriage isn’t all rosy, there will always come a time of ups and downs. However, learning how to be patient with one’s partner will avert misunderstanding. Similarly, tolerating your partner’s flaws will help your marriage grow.

Perhaps, you feel your partner’s decisions aren’t right or his behaviors are inappropriate. Don’t make the mistake of trying to change him by nagging, or forcing your will on him, or depriving him of certain marital benefits. Rather, choose to advise him calmly, stating your reason and allow him to decide for himself.

3. Learn the Attitude of Understanding to Build Your Marriage

Understanding one’s partner is one of the mother’s advice to daughters getting married since mothers are capable of influencing their husband’s decisions either positively or negatively. In other words, a good wife must have an understanding attitude.

This is reflected in her level of compliance and cooperation with her husband’s decisions in terms of planning and utilizing the family budget. Also, how skillful she is at managing the available resources provided by her husband?

4. Respect is a Pivotal Advice to a Daughter Getting Married

Amongst a father’s advice to daughters getting married, respect should be given higher priority. It’s fruitless trying to contend for authority in a home with one’s husband, you only succeed at destroying your marriage. That’s why respect for husbands remains an important piece of marriage advice to daughters getting married. They must realize that submission does not show weakness rather respect—this was designed by God who initiated marriage from the beginning.

In addition, respect is revealed in your speech and actions towards your husband. Hence, you must learn the 7c’s of communication and effective listening skills.

5. Father’s Advice to Daughters Getting Married Includes Having Trust for Her Husband

The absence of trust breeds curiosity in a marriage which further breaks the love bond between couples. Hence, daughters getting married must learn to trust their partners. Instead of unnecessarily monitoring your partner, ask questions about their movement and activities you are unsure about. Furthermore, avoid keeping secrets and telling lies to your partners.

6. Faithfulness and Commitment Propels the Growth of a Marriage

It was earlier established that marriage is a lifetime commitment. Therefore, one must be wise at choosing the one you will spend the rest of your life with. In other words, you must be content with your partner in every aspect, this includes physically, financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and otherwise. Faithfulness and commitment are marriage advice to daughters getting married which entails sticking with their partner through the thick and thin of life without betrayal.

7. Be Willing to Grow as You Get Married

Growth is a gradual process that requires the patient to achieve. Therefore, be willing to learn from your partner and be quick to discard ideologies that may hinder your marriage progress. Most importantly, maturity insists that you embrace the roles that are meant for you as the wife and do it effectively with complaints and grumbling.

8. Inculcate the Act Of Forgiveness to Build Your Marriage

Forgiveness can’t be excluded from marriage advice to daughters getting married. This is because misunderstanding is inevitable in a relationship. However, what keeps that relationship blossoming is the ability for each partner to humble themselves and seek forgiveness when wrong or be quick to forgive the other when offended. This should be done before the day goes out for peace and love to reign—remember a prolonged misunderstanding can destroy a happy home, instead be the first to seek for settlement.

9. Become a Supportive Wife to Your Husband

Mother’s advice to daughters getting married also entails having a supportive spirit. It takes two to make a relationship work out. Therefore, as a woman, you must become your husband’s biggest fan and encourage him to become the best version of himself even when he doesn’t believe in himself.

Furthermore, It’s detrimental to your marriage to expose your husband’s flaws to others, in contrast, learn to be proud of him.

10. Advice to Daughter Getting Married Includes Prioritizing Your Sex Life

Sex in itself goes beyond physical intercourse, rather is a medium where souls are joined together as one—a point of intimacy. The value of sex in a marriage can’t be overemphasized.

Therefore, what matters most is the quality and not quantity. Most importantly, study your partner’s sex life to get it right. In addition, it’s wrong to punish your husband for offending you by denying him sex.

11. Reduce Third-Party Advice to the Minimum Level to Achieve a Happy Marriage

Excluding you and your partner, every other person is a third party. These sets of people are those who believe they can offer you marriage advice and insist you keep them updated about the happenings in your marriage. That’s inappropriate! Besides, I’m not saying that receiving advice from others is completely wrong, rather establishing the fact that whatever is discussed between you and your partner should remain between the both of you. 

Also, your decisions shouldn’t be influenced by what others are saying. However, the only time a third party is needed is when there is a misunderstanding beyond your control— this must be a trustworthy person.

12. Learn to do Things Together

A home where the husband and wife are on two separate pages will soon break apart. Hence, spice your marriage up by making time for each other—a time away from work, that’s why you need to learn how to balance your work and family. In addition, create time to pray together, eat together and do household chores together. Oftentimes, most mother’s advice to daughters getting married always emphasizes praying for one’s partner and praying together as couples.

13. Never Ignore Your Partner’s Needs When Kids Arrive

Parenting is a unit under a marriage that must be carefully carried out to prevent committing parenting mistakes that should be avoided which are detrimental. Therefore, don’t choose your kid’s needs over your husband’s needs. Instead, get your partner to assist you with the kids. Don’t forget he is also their father.

Furthermore, kids become creative thinkers under the atmosphere of a loving home, this further boosts their academic performance.

14. Learn About Your Partner’s Love Language

Father’s advice to daughters getting married requires orienting them on how little act of love counts and goes a long way in securing the future of your marriage. In essence, be skilful at examining your partner’s likes and dislikes—discarding the dislikes and doing more of his likes.

This study enables you to speak your partner’s love languages and prevents you from guessing your way through marriage.

15. Divorce Should Be the Last Option on Your List to Build a Perfect Marriage

There will be a time when you feel like walking out of your marriage because it seems things aren’t going as expected. That’s why a mother’s advice to daughters getting married always encourages daughters to seek other routes of problem-solving excluding divorce.

Reason being that the effect of divorce is destructive and doesn’t portray you as a role model for your children to imitate.

Conclusion

Marriage advise to daughters getting married can’t be exhausted. However, what matters most is your ability to practice the advice given when you get to your husband’s house. Although, it will take some time to adapt, don’t give up, choose to keep giving in your best.

Do you have more advice to daughter getting married or have learned a thing or two from this article? If yes, join the chat by sharing in the comment section below.

17 Marriage Preparation Tips for Every Intending Couple

17 Marriage Preparation Tips for Every Intending Couple

Have you been pondering over the things you need to know or do before marriage? If yes, you’re at the right place! Just stay with me as I guide you through some marriage preparation tips.

Most of the marriages that crumbled, crumbled not because the couples aren’t in love, but because they failed to know some things that they ought to have known before even settling down. You wouldn’t want to have a failed marriage, would you?

The moment you decide to marry, know that you have embarked on a journey and there are important things to know and take along with you. Here are some marriage preparation tips to guide you through this journey:

Marriage Preparation Tips

1. Make Up Your Mind

This may sound easy, but trust me, if you carelessly overlook it, you will have yourself to blame.

Making up one’s mind is about coming to terms with their mind; they have to be on the same page. You can’t want to do something while your mind is thinking differently.

You do not want to prepare for a marriage you are not confident in, or still have lingering doubts about; this is a strong factor that could lead to failure in marriages.

2. Pray About It

Having made your mind up on settling down, as normal or conventional as it may sound, you need to pray. The northern part of Nigeria is arguably the most religious part of the country – Islam and Christianity and the two major religions. Both religions believe that whenever you set your mind on doing something, only your efforts or hard work won’t suffice, you also have to pray about it.

After all, marriage is not like an item of clothing, when it gets old or no longer fits you, you discard or give it to another person, NO. It’s a lifetime something. You need God’s interference, don’t you?

Prayer is the key to everything. So pray!

3. Discuss Responsibilities

To avoid responsibility clashes here and there, you need to discuss responsibilities.

There are of course responsibilities in every household. There is a need for you two to discuss and share those responsibilities. Some responsibilities are peculiar to men (like fending for the family) while others are to females (like childbearing, tidying up the house, etc.), and some are for both.

However you decide to share, it is ok as long as no one feels overburdened or cheated. Ensure to make it very clear.

You could also read on: Managing Shared Responsibilities.

4. Have a Role Model Couple

Having a role model is one of the marriage preparation tips you need to put into consideration. That role model could be some influential persons, friends, relatives, or even your parents. You chose them because they’ve been in marriage for a long time and have amassed themselves with a wealth of marital experiences.

They will come in handy when you have a problem with your spouse that needs to be resolved.

5. Try to Be Independent

In a typical northern Nigerian setting, a wife is a very dependent being. She engages in little or no productive stuff but is very productive when it comes to demand. As a female, you do not want to be that; your husband will love you less.

Most men nowadays do not even want a dependent woman, we prefer an independent woman – a woman who does some things for herself and can come to the aid of the family when the need arises. Unfortunately, some men nowadays have their eyes on their partner’s money. Guys, when you become too demanding, she gets tired of you too – it’s a two-way thing.

My advice for you is, try as much as possible to be independent.

Related:How Being Independent Can Keep You From Breaking Up.

6. Take a Genotype Test

Genotype is the genetic makeup of an individual passed from his parents. We have 4 types of genotypes: AA, AS, SS, AC. As an AA, you can marry any person regardless of their genotype – as a matter of fact, it is more advisable to not marry an AA, but any other genotype.

You and your partner must go for this test and be sure you two are compatible. If you aren’t, forget about that marriage. I know it’s not easy, but it’s better than what you will face in the future.

Go for that test NOW if you haven’t.

7. Be Yourself

Being you as one of the marriage preparation tips is paramount for a successful marriage. Do not be deceptive, show your true self – this doesn’t imply that if you have a bad habit, keep it, NO, change it. Let your partner get to know the real you so they don’t see someone different in you that they already know after marriage.

A piece of advice from me to you is “Never lie to satisfy somebody for a moment because the pain that you cause them in the future can last them for a lifetime”.

Please, be YOURSELF!

8. Mind Your Expenditure

One of the marriage preparation tips I’ll be sharing with you is ‘being mindful of your expenditure‘ – this is mostly for men. You need to know that you are about venturing into something way different from the life of a single person. Scale-preference your needs and concentrate on only the important ones.

Do not be tempted to go overboard when spending. Begin to train yourself to spend wisely, that skill will come in handy in your marital life.

9. Decide on Family Size

Deciding on the size of the family you both need or want is an important marriage preparation tip. You should know that a large family size comes with greater responsibilities and vice-versa.

Decide on the number of children you intend to have, and advisably, that should be proportionate to your income and available time – you need money to take care of the family needs and your children need your time as well.

Please, do not give birth to children you cannot cater for; that would be a very cruel thing to do to your children and society at large.

10. Be Obedient and Respectful

You need to be obedient and respectful to your partner. This mostly goes to females. You need to know that we men have ego and pride the size of Mount Everest. We, humans, want to be obeyed and respected by people or our subordinates, but for men, hmm, it’s something else. My dear future bride, have that obedience and respect coming your husband’s way non-stop.

Do not relent on this, DO NOT!

11. Stop Thinking Me, but Us

You need to know that marriage involves two people doing things together for the whole of their lives. As a result, you need to stop thinking about yourself whenever you want to do or say something, you should always consider your partner’s wishes and wants as well. Considering each other not only avoids unpleasant situations but strengthens your marriage beyond negative external forces.

12. Avoid Pre-Marital Sex

This is a big one. In the modern-day world, pre-marital sex has become a normal thing. Unfortunately, some tribes in Nigeria encourage it. However, it isn’t a good practice. There are repercussions to the act.

It brings about less trust in your partner on the issue (sex). You will be suspecting your partner whenever you see them with the opposite sex or when they are not around – say, when they come back home late, or when they are on a business or an official trip. And ‘trust’ my dear, is very important in a marriage. The moment you start suspecting your partner, that marriage is dead already.

Another advantage of not having pre-marital sex is that you don’t get to have a preference, whatever and however your man or woman is, you will be content, mostly.

So, my advice for you is, DON’T engage in pre-marital sex.

13. You Need to Be Patient

Whether it’s marriage or business, patience is the first rule of success

William Feather

One of the marriage preparation tips worth noting is ‘being patient’. There are lots of ups and downs in marriages. No marriage is free from troubles and hurdles. You have to find a way to deal with them as they come, and the best way to achieve that is by being patient with your partner and your marital life.

14. Test Their Patience Too

You will need to know how patient your partner is in terms of misunderstanding. For me, the best way to do that is by getting in a good fight – a very good one intentionally, and then see how they react. If they react favourably, then go for them, and if they react violently, I suggest you leave them. Do you know why? Because there are lots of ugly fights waiting for you in marriage, you do not want to take them (the fights) lightly.

15. Talk about Faith (Religion)

Before venturing into any marriage, talk about religious beliefs with your partner. It’s much easier if you’re both practicing the same religion because all you need to do is decide when and how religious practices should be carried out in the family. If you practice different faiths, you seriously need to have that talk.

Religion is a very sensitive thing now. Ensure that you set boundaries you both should not cross and respect each other’s faith. Any mistake could be disastrous. You should also decide on the faith of your children, the earlier you do that, the better.

You could also read on: Why Setting Boundaries in a Relationship is Important

16. Learn to Forgive

Another important marriage preparation tip worth practicing is ‘forgiveness’. Whenever your spouse upsets you and asks for forgiveness, forgive them. Forgive them even if they don’t ask for it, at least, so you could have a rest of mind.

Do not continue to dwell on previous mistakes of your partner because more are coming. When the problems become much, you lose control of yourself. So, forgive them to have a healthy marriage.

17. Be a Supporter

As a future husband, know that you need to support your future wife in terms of providing for her basic needs, and in whatever good she’s doing. And as a future wife, you need to be like a backup plan for your husband – be that kind of wife that your husband can rely on or fall back to when he is down financially or emotionally.

Support each other in good and unfortunate times.

Conclusion

There are tons of marriage preparation tips, some of which I haven’t included in my write-up – like trust, honesty, being faithful, trustworthy, etc. This is because I didn’t want to bore you with a lot to read. Notwithstanding, the above-mentioned tips should be enough guide for you to consider before tying the knot.

If you find this article interesting, please leave a comment on the comments section below, and also tell us other marriage preparation tips I haven’t mentioned. Thank you.

You could also read on: 10 Things Every Marriage Needs and 10 Things to Do at the Start of Every Relationship.

Do These 11 Things and Your Ex Will Definitely Want You Back

Do These 11 Things and Your Ex Will Definitely Want You Back

Breakups can be very frustrating and depressing. Although some breakups are healthy ones, others can be disastrous; some can be intentional, by mistake or misunderstanding; some could also be your fault and some not. Do you want to win them back? If yes, no problem, just stay with me as I guide you on the ways to get your ex to want you back.

11 Ways to Get Your Ex to Want You Back

1. Make up Your Mind

When your mind is focused and made up, you don’t make excuses. You try. If you fail you try again.

Louis Farrakhan

Like I always say, making up your mind towards trying to achieve something is the first thing to do after considering it. So, make it your goal to get that person no matter what and be optimistic about it. Always remember that you will get nowhere by not trying no matter how difficult it may seem. Don’t linger, don’t fret, just go for it.

Remember, you’ve got one advantage, ‘you were once theirs’ and who knows? They may already want you back! As said:

Make up your mind, Snail! You are half inside your house, and halfway out!

Richard Wright

2. You Want Them Back? Begin to Do Things Yourself

Be independent of them.

One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by beginning to do things yourself if you happened to be someone who was overly dependent or reliant on them to get things done during your broken relationship. Let them see that you can live comfortably without them. That will surely make them begin to see your worth. By just that, they may start considering you back. Isn’t that what you want?

Always remember, nobody… I mean, nobody wants to be dependent on except when it becomes necessary, like that of parents to their children.

3. Dress Well and Smell Nice

Oh, God! Have you any idea how dressing well and smelling nice can get you any lady or guy? If you don’t, you’re welcome. Dressing and smelling nice is how you should always be whether or not you are in a relationship, but it’s a plus when you are trying to get someone’s attention.

Whenever you’re going to be anywhere around them – like going to work, school or class (if you work, school or attend lectures together), you are going to their house or neighbourhood or any place you are sure they are most likely to be there, be sure you are well dressed and smell nice.

Put on that kind of outfit that you know they like. Be elegant, dress to kill, and look very responsible as you do so. Anything is ok as long as you make it hard to be ignored or get unnoticed by them, positively. It’s surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.

4. Stop Acknowledging Their Presence

This is applicable in situations where you had always wanted to be close to them in any way during your broken relationship. Who knows? Perhaps, this habit of yours was what pushed away them in the first place. Even if you weren’t like that, that’s no problem, just make them look less or not important.

When you meet anywhere, whether or not you planned it, do not acknowledge their presence. Do not say things like ‘you look beautiful’, ‘you look takeaway’, or say ‘I miss you’ mistakenly however tempting it may be. Hahaha. If you do that, they will feel important and my dear, you have lost your shot; balance, and aim again next time.

5. Show Them You Care

If you want them back, show them lots of care. Be always there when they need someone, someone LIKE YOU. Never relent on doing or saying anything they show you they want. Try cooking a delicious meal for them – their favourite most preferably, be their first good morning and their last good night. If possible, visit whenever something good or unfortunate happens to them, visit their parents if you can still do that, just anything. Do anything positive to show them they are still well cared for by you.

Doing so will not only score you a chance of winning their heart back, but they get to value you way more than they did before. I guarantee this one of the ways to get your ex to want you back for you.

6. Be Scarce

One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by being scarce. Scarcity creates value or importance. You don’t know that? Now you do! Do not avail yourself to them at all times. Sometimes, what or who you see too often, tends to be of less importance to you – you know that to be true, but when they are not always available at your disposal, their value increases in your sight.

Therefore, do not make yourself available in their presence no matter how hard you want to do that, no matter how difficult it is for your heart as your endures. Just keep at it. The end result will definitely be worth the patience or endurance. That’s how it is.

So, be scarce!

7. Begin to Do Things They Like and Avoid Things They Don’t

Recall what you may have done that ended the relationship, or what they have always wanted you to do that you don’t do. Recall those moments that you hurt them as a result of your actions. Try not to miss every single detail.

When you do, prepare your mind to be a changed person with regards to that. Begin to do things they like and avoid things they do not like. Remember, the heart will almost always want the person who likes what they like and vice versa.

However, if you sincerely know that the breakup wasn’t your fault, then all you need to do is continue to be you and adjust to those things that they don’t like. That way, they will miss being with you and it’s only a matter of time before they come your way, again.

8. Be Smarter Than They Know

Is it just me? But there is something about smart people that makes me attracted to them. Try to improve on your intelligence. If they know you to be this intelligent, be that intelligent, and if they know you to have a low IQ, try and improve by reading books on intelligence, study quotes on intelligence, watch movies related to that, take online courses and the likes.

This may take a long time before it begins to manifest, but you can try, most especially, if you are enjoying the breakup at the moment, but will consider them in the future. Chances are, they are already noticing you, and that’s good.

Don’t worry even if you don’t get them back, at least, you have raised your personal and societal status by being more intelligent. This is surely one of the ways to get your ex to want you back.

9. Want to Get Them Back? Flirt With Them

This is strictly for divorcees I suggest. You don’t want to flirt with them if you never were married to them before, would you? They may look down on you. But for divorcees, this may be a very good opportunity to shoot your shot.

You already know them very well; what they like and how they react to flirtations. Use that to your advantage. Executing that through phone-calling could not be as effective as sexting. Send them that kind of flirty message that will make them want to touch you so badly.

Flirting with them a little will be of no harm. Try it.

10. Contact Them Less Often

One of the ways to get your ex to want you back is by reducing the number of times you call them, or not even calling them at all, depending on the situation. Even if you feel the urge to because you really want to hear from them, DON’T. When you feel the need to visit them as usual, also DON’T. Let them miss your presence, your voice, your sarcasm, your sense of humour, your personality, and all that.

11. Get a Partner or Pretend to Have One

Make them crazily jealous.

Is there that someone whom they know has been crushing on you while you two were together? Consider them. Is there that friend of theirs that has been wanting to get your attention? Consider them. Sounds cruel right? Look at it carefully, it doesn’t. Remember the situation they’ve put you in and you will see reasons why this is an option for you if you want them back. If you are just acting and not serious, be a very good actor. Ensure all the tracks that may lead them to find out you’ve been acting are well blocked.

If they know, they will get really jealous and my dear, that feeling could trigger the love they once had for you. Now, you will be left to decide whether or not to end your present relationship or stop acting. If the former is the case, decide with caution.

Conclusion

Not all ways mentioned above are suitable at all times. They are dependent on how you want them back – is it because you still love them and the breakup was your fault, or you love them and the breakup wasn’t your fault? For instance, you can’t ‘show them care’ if they broke up with you for no reason or for the wrong reason(s). That’s showing low self-esteem. And you can’t be ‘scarce’ when the breakup was actually your fault. Make sure to use the one that suits your situation best.

If you find this article to be interesting or helpful, drop a comment in the comments section. And if you feel something was left out, kindly tell as well. Thank you.

Related: 7 Proven Ways to Get Over Your Ex and 13 Ways to Get Someone Love You.

10 Causes of Jealousy in a Relationship

10 Causes of Jealousy in a Relationship

Jealousy could result from being suspicious towards your partner; resentment towards someone for a perceived advantage or superiority they hold, and envy towards another’s possessions, or a close concern for someone. Arguably, jealousy is something everyone is born with; it is one’s inert ability, funny. In some cases, jealousies are advantageous while in some cases, problematic, which could even result in a breakup. There are different reasons or causes of jealousy in a relationship, some of which are: 

Causes of Jealousy in a Relationship

1. Keeping in Touch With Your Ex

Some relationships end between partners due to incompatibility, disagreement, infidelity, and the likes, while some are as a result of external forces outside of those in the relationship. If the latter is the case, there is a proclivity that one will feel the need to see, talk to, or mingle with their ex because the love is still there. Now when this happens, the present partner, be it the guy or the lady will start to feel jealous.

Also, in a situation whereby a couple is divorced and both are happily married to different people, there is a need for the ex to communicate with each other most especially if there are kids in between; the wellbeing of their children is their responsibility. Now as a partner of either of the two, jealousy is something you will feel. You can’t help it.

2. Having Friends of the Opposite Sex

This is one of the common causes of jealousy in a relationship, only a few persons will disagree. Most people like the feeling of “I am the only for my man/woman and so, no one from the opposite sex should come close to my man/woman”. 

In Northern Nigeria, it is evident that men and women hardly engage in boy/girl friendship and so, when you see your partner with the opposite sex, jealousy will set in. On the contrary, this is not true among the educated Northern Nigerians, majorly.

3. Inadequate Attention

Everyone by nature needs attention – attention from the opposite sex, be it your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.

When you care about someone, you will require lots of attention from them. If that attention you crave is channeled in a different direction, jealousy will set in. In the case of a boy/girl relationship, a partner (married couples including) feels jealous when the other is busy concentrating more on other stuff or devoting most of their time in, maybe sports, work, studies etcetera.

Married couples, especially husbands, complain a lot. Most women tend to give more of their attention to their children than their husbands. The attention decreases as the number of children increases. They kind of feel their husbands are grown-ups and so can take care of themselves, but their kids are vulnerable. This results in jealousy on the side of the husbands.

For instance, I once read a story online by a whore saying, a man asked for her hands in marriage simply because he doesn’t get the attention he wants from his wife. She (the whore) eventually turned him down because she doesn’t want to be in any committed relationship. How absurd!

4. Feeling Insecure

This is the fear of been replaced due to one’s incompetence, complacency, or inability to do certain things for their partner. This comes into play when you feel you are not exactly what your partner wants in a man or woman, or when you are not self-confident.

Insecure feeling tends to make you feel jealous whenever you see your partner with someone who has what they want or need that you don’t. This feeling can be blood-sucking; one needs to find a way to do away with it.

It might interest you to read on Improve Your Self-Confidence With These 6 Proven Ways and The Feeling of Insecurity and How to Avoid It.

5. Competition

In the Northern part of Nigeria, sometimes siblings find themselves living in the same house or compound with their wives.

Oftentimes, women tend to disagree on things amongst themselves by default – things that may not even matter at all. This causes jealousy in a situation whereby one of the siblings happens to be richer, more handsome, has a sense of dressing, etc. than the other. The latter’s wife may sometimes get jealous of the former’s wife. This gives birth to an ‘unhealthy competition’. In some cases, this jealousy or rivalry is stronger and fiercer than one between or amongst co-wives.

6. Trust Issues

Trust is something partners need to earn between themselves, not demand. In a situation where a partner is making frequent calls or being visited regularly by a colleague of the opposite sex from the office or workplace, this causes jealousy; or a situation where partners have been engaged in pre-marital sex (in the case of married couples and boy/girl relationship), it is easy for jealousy in regards to that surface.

Whenever your partner is not with you, you feel they are with someone else. Avoiding premarital sex and unnecessary communication between you and the opposite sex will play a huge role in eliminating jealousy between partners.

7. Perfectionism

This is one of the causes of jealousy in a relationship. Perfectionism is an unwillingness to settle for anything less than perfect. Some people are perfectionists; a brother of mine is like that too. Everything and everyone has to be perfect or else, not significant.

People like that get easily jealous when they see you (their partner) with someone better than them.

Loosen up a little, and you will find everyone perfect in their own way, you perfectionist! Lolz.

8. Stalking Your Partner

Another cause of jealousy is when you keep following or stalking your partner; knowing his/her every movement, monitoring their phone calls or text messages, unnecessarily meddling in their affairs, and the likes.

No one is perfect; we all make mistakes. By so doing, you will find things that are hurting and make you jealous – things that you will later wish you never saw or heard.

9. Complementing on Other Peoples’ Attractiveness

Some people are fond of doing so, most especially men. Do not do this to your partner most especially in their presence. Not cool!

Everyone needs to feel they are the most attractive person their partner’s eyes have ever seen (even if obviously, the reverse is the case), anything short of that could be a disaster.

Guys, STOP IT!

10. Not Telling Your Partner What Makes You Jealous

If you are feeling jealous in a relationship, chances are your partner already knows, or they don’t. In either case, let them know what makes you jealous through effective communication means, and help them know how to avoid it.

Keeping it all to yourself won’t solve anything. Trust me. If they probably haven’t noticed you are jealous, telling them will be a good idea.

Conclusion

All the above-mentioned causes of jealousy and more could result in nullifying a relationship.

A jealous partner is oftentimes too busy to see the reality of things around their partners; they only tend to see what their hearts or minds want them to see.

The best and ultimate thing to do is to TRUST your partner more than anyone, and it’s a GOAL!

If you find the article useful, kindly comment on the comments section, and also, tell which of the causes of jealousy do you think was left out?

Related: 7 Reasons Why Relationships Fail

10 Things You Must Do at the Start of Every Relationship

10 Things You Must Do at the Start of Every Relationship

A relationship is a way in which two people or two groups feel about each other and behave towards each other. To me, a relationship is when two people in love with each other are ready to break all odds to be together and planning to keep it that way till death do them part. If a relationship is like that, then there is a need for one to know how to make it right to avoid unforeseen ugliness later thus: Things to do at the start of every relationship.

Recommended Things to Do at the Start of Every Relationship

1. Be Ready for The Relationship

Being in a relationship is like a full-time job, don’t think about applying if you are not ready

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Yes, being ready is one of the things to do at the start of every relationship. It is paramount that before you start anything in life, you need to be physically and emotionally ready to be able to achieve your goal. Relationships can’t be excluded.

Ask yourself these questions about your partner: “Who is this person to me?” and “Why am I taking them as a partner”. The first question will tell you how important they are to you or otherwise, while the second question tells you reasons why you should proceed with the relationship or bailout.

Any outcome short of your expectations could be a bad idea to venture in; make a wise decision – a decision future you won’t say “I wish I never started this relationship”

2. Be Yourself

Being oneself is the best way to live one’s life. You can’t be someone else. Never. Trying to be someone else in a relationship is a wrong move. Let your partner know the real you so they can decide whether or not you are good to go. Let them love and respect you for who you are.

Though if you have a habit generally regarded as unacceptable, you will need to let go because nobody likes bad habits.

So, be yourself!

3. Know Your Genotype and Blood Group

These are two of the five medical tests you should have before marriage. Genotype is the genetic makeup of an individual passed from the parents. We have 4 types of genotypes: AA, AS, SS, AC. The first three are common while the other isn’t.

Blood group on the other hand is the carrying of two antigens (A and B) during the transportation of oxygen by red blood cells. The antigens determine the blood group of an individual. The blood groups are represented with A, AB, O, and B.

It is important for a couple in a relationship wanting to settle down or otherwise to know their genotypes and blood groups before they are deeply in love. Any wrong combination could be a lifetime disaster. Break up if you two are not compatible; this will prevent giving birth to children with sickle cell thereby, making life difficult for both the parents and the child.

You can also read on the importance of knowing your blood group and genotype before marriage here.

4. Don’t Compare to Your Ex

We, humans, have the proclivity of comparing things that we have now with those that we once had. If you have been in one relationship or the other before your present partner, you need to shut that memory dead no matter how memorable they are. You can’t be comparing your partner with another person; it’s a huge deal-breaker.

For the relationship to foster, you need to see your partner as unique in their way. No one is perfect!

5. Make Sure There is Constant Communication

Communication is key to a flourished relationship. Since you are at the beginning of the relationship, make sure to check up on your partner regularly; not too regularly that they get bored of you.

Ensure you keep reassuring them that they are a part of you. That can be achieved greatly through constant communication.

During disagreements, things can be set straight if communication is done effectively. Of course, not every couple even know how to communicate without starting an argument. We all know that no relationship is problem-free but with communication, it reduces significantly.

6. Be Honest

Honesty as one of the things to do at the start of every relationship, is a moral character that defines a person as trustworthy, straightforward, loyal, fair, sincere, and not characterized by lying, theft, etc. You will need to be all of these and more to be tagged ‘honest’.

Do not give your partner any room to doubt you; doubt kills a relationship faster than infidelity. Always be truthful in whatever you say or do.

The moment they realize you have been untrue to them or you have something up your sleeves, BOOM! That ends it. You wouldn’t want that, right?

7. Be Very Observant

I do not believe in the cliché ‘love at first sight but rather ‘attraction at first sight’. You are attracted to them and have even considered dating them, but you can’t afford to be relaxed. NO. You can’t sit back and fold your arms thinking everything is right simply because of that attraction. That’s a very dumb thing to do.

Every little detail counts. Observe your partner’s move and attitude every now and then (I do not mean like a spy, stalker or secret agent), no. You need to be sure they are worth going on that long journey with you. After your observation, make a choice.

Wise man see, wise observed, wise man then is compelled to do all which is right to all that he has observed earlier.

Gary Tolan aka King Tola

8. Set Boundaries

To have a healthy relationship, you need to set some boundaries. You need to let your partner know about your likes and dislikes, dos and don’ts, and make sure they are strongly adhered to. If they care about you and the relationship, they will never try to trespass those boundaries intentionally. If you notice otherwise, then be sure to have an uncomfortable relationship if you choose to continue.

Don’t forget to respect your partner’s likes and dislikes too. Respect should be reciprocal.

9. Look Out for Compatibility

Compatibility in a relationship means that both partners understand and accept each other’s life philosophy and goals, as well as genuinely enjoy being around each other without feeling preoccupied with what they feel needs to change within their partner.

A relationship is said to be compatible if both partners are willing to agree on certain core values irrespective of their differences.

You need to look out for compatibility as one of the things to do at the start of every relationship. Make sure you agree on things like dress sense, social status, intellect, likes and dislikes, and so on.

Is your partner like you? You can answer this question even though the relationship might be early, but you can still tell it is or isn’t by applying your observational skills.

10. Know Your Partner’s Family Lineage

In addition, one of the things to do at the start of every relationship is by knowing your partner’s family lineage. Ascertain whether or not your partner’s family has any trace of hereditary diseases such as Muscular dystrophy, sickle cell, Huntington’s disease, haemophilia, tay-sachs and cystic fibrosis. Diabetes is also a hereditary sickness – lookout for it.

With that said, no one would want to venture into a relationship where their partner’s family lineage has hereditary diseases. It’s for your children’s sake, so don’t compromise!

Conclusion

You need to know or do all the above-mentioned things quickly before you get too attached. If you get too attached before doing or noticing, it will be difficult for you to leave. You will end up making compromises, and my dear, making too many compromises bring down a relationship.

If you find this article worthwhile, please leave your thoughts in the comments section. You could also tell us if there are things that I missed out.

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