7 Ways You Can Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect

7 Ways You Can Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect

Unhappy adulthood is often a result of hurting childhood experiences. One of these hurting experiences is termed childhood emotional neglect. This form of neglect is done unintentionally for genuine reasons. Therefore, parents and caregivers may provide for a child’s basic needs and still neglect that child emotionally. However, in addition to its short-term effect comes unbearable scars of its long-term effects, that’s why many adults are still searching for how to overcome childhood emotional neglect mainly because the pain from childhood has refused to heal and is affecting another aspect of their lives most especially their relationship with their spouse and close associate.

What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?

Emotional neglect happens when parents and caregivers are uninterested or ignore a child’s emotional needs. What then are emotional needs? These are simply the feeling of being loved, knowing that someone cares about you, and is always there to encourage you even when you make mistakes.

Emotional neglect is made manifest whenever parents place high expectations on their kids, criticize them, or refuse to listen to them, or nag at them. Oftentimes, ignoring their sad looks, restricting their movement, or using insulting words while addressing them. Perhaps, not giving their kids support whenever they decide to pursue their discovered interest.

Unfortunately, as simple as it may appear it’s a parenting mistake that has destroyed the love bond between parents and their children.

What Are the Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect?

Emotional neglect might not have physical effects like other forms of abuse such as physical abuse and sexual abuse. However, its internal effects are as detrimental as a physical effect. This includes:

  • Numbing One’s feeling
  • Perfectionist attitude
  • Easily get discouraged
  • Prone to negative self-talk and thoughts patterns
  • Low self-esteem
  • Having the feeling of rejection
  • Reliving in the past
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Indifference towards other person’s feelings
  • Sad countenance
  • Poor self-discipline
  • People pleasers
  • Withdrawal from friends and family
  • Having the feeling of shame and guilt
  • Not trusting anyone.
  • Poor communication

7 Ways You Can Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect

1. To Overcome Emotional Neglect Forgive Those Who Caused You Pain

In order to learn how to overcome childhood emotional neglect, you would have to do things you promised never to do, like forgiving those who caused you pain in the past. However, You might think nobody understands how badly you were hurt either by your parents or caregiver but for your good you need to forgive them. Refusing to forgive hinders your healing process, worsen your condition, and fills your heart with negativity.

As a victim of emotional neglect, you need to realize that those who hurt you had good intentions for you but were carried out wrongly. Therefore, forgiving will bring relief and happiness to your soul.

2. Let Go Of Your Past

Oftentimes, people claim to have forgiven those who hurt them but somehow they are still caught in the web of reliving their past. They find it difficult to move on, they keep on reflecting on how their emotions were shattered in the past. However, no matter how difficult it seems to forget you certainly have to learn how to take your mind off it each time it arises.

It’s pivotal you realize that dwelling in the past hinders you from focusing on today’s activities and enjoying the beauty that comes from them. Therefore, become committed to whatever you are doing at the moment, leaving no room for flashbacks on past experiences.

3. Self—acceptance Helps You Overcome Emotional Neglect

You might feel rejected and worthless as a result of being abandoned emotionally while growing up. However, what matters most is how you see yourself now. Unfortunately, the way you treat yourself is directly proportional to the way others will treat you. If you look down on yourself others will do the same.

Similarly, if you don’t believe in yourself or say negative words about yourself, that’s exactly what others will do. Therefore, irrespective of what you’ve been through, accept, value, and love yourself for there is plenty of room for positive growth.

4. Learn How to Recognize and Control Your Emotions

Those who are victims of childhood emotional neglect are prone to exhibiting negative and destructive emotions. In contrast, you could always substitute those negative impulses with positive ones. In essence, whenever you feel angry about your past, instead of retaliating, give yourself space, take control and replace it with positive emotions. This will prevent you from hurting yourself or others around you.

However, the best way to derive positive emotions is by setting your mind on those things which make you happy. This includes your interest, an adventure you did in the past, a scene from a movie, or past awards and accolades among others. In addition, positive emotions enhance emotional intelligence.

5. To Overcome Emotional Neglect, Choose Your Friends Wisely

Despite how shattered your emotions may be, you could still learn how to overcome childhood emotional neglect by carefully selecting those you associate with. Those you call your friend can make your life better or worse through their words and actions. Perhaps, you still surround yourself with discouraging friends, those who make you feel less of yourself and criticize your big goal, you need to rethink and discard such friends. This is because they will continually tear down your emotions.

In contrast, reselect those you associate with. Make friends with those that accept you for who you’re, encourage you, and bring out the best in you.

This set of friends will help you live above your childhood emotional neglect and have a happy life.

6. To Trash Out Emotional Neglect Become Active

As you learn more on how to overcome childhood emotional neglect, avoid staying ideal, as it makes you vulnerable to self-pity as a result of what you suffered during your childhood days. Therefore, to move to a better life, get involved in doing them worthwhile. This may require you to get a job, learn a skill, engage in your hobbies, or go on adventures with positive friends.

The goal of this is to take your mind off your past hurts and make you see thousands of reasons to live life the good way. Furthermore, avoid being alone for days without reaching out to anyone. That’s why you need positive friends with whom you can share your daily struggles and achievements.

7. Undergo A Therapy Class

Perhaps, you’re still struggling at overcoming childhood emotional neglect then it’s about time you undergo therapy. Therapy classes are not just for the traumatized victim, but all forms of emotional issues. The work of the therapist is to help you heal faster from your past wounds by helping you fix your mind on the present—a form of meditation.

Furthermore, provide you with tips to relate with others better like teaching you the 7C’s of communication. In addition, a therapist is also that listening ear to whom you can pour out your heartfelt pains at any time. I assure you of healing after undergoing a therapy session.

Conclusion

It’s detrimental if you attempt to overcome emotional neglect by doing the same thing that caused you pain to others, especially to your spouse or kids. The essence of you learning how to overcome childhood emotional neglect goes beyond healing yourself but that you also help others overcome and make the world a better place with healthy relationships.

If the tips provided here were helpful, then feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Avoid Saying These 10 Things in Front of Your Kids

Avoid Saying These 10 Things in Front of Your Kids

Words are powerfully endowed with the ability to build and destroy, encourage or discouraged, captivate or demoralize. Therefore, one must be mindful of the kinds of words used while communicating, especially to kids. As a parent, there are lots of things you should never say to your child if truly you desire the best for them. Unfortunately, most parents fall victim to this parenting mistake to be avoided, unconsciously at the detriment of their kids who hold onto every word spoken to them.

10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Child

1. Never Say to Your Child “You’re a Failure”

The dawn of a new day is another opportunity to better one’s life. Hence, it’s wrong to assume that your child is a failure mainly because they made a slight mistake. There is a lot of room for improvement, if only you make your child view life from the standpoint of progressive growth.

Moreover, using the word ‘failure’ on a child tarnishes their passion to try that same thing again or do anything captivating for fear of being insulted by their parents.

2. Why Can’t You Be Like the Other Kids?

The above statement is a destructive rhetorical question to ask your child. They can’t provide an answer to your question but within them, they begin to feel worthless, unloved, and ashamed of themselves. Gradually, he/she begins to withdraw from their peers to avoid being mocked.

Moreover, as a parent, never compare your child to another, for everyone has his or her strengths and weaknesses. The best you could offer your child is to help them discover their passion and give them your maximum support.

3. Avoid the “I Don’t Love You” Statement.

No matter how angry you’re with your child to the point of employing the violent method of disciplining a child, never say to your child I don’t love you. It’s wrong and can destroy a child emotionally, intellectually, morally, and otherwise. The home is the platform where kids learn the right attitude of love. However, if it’s not properly done in the home, the child gets the wrong concept of love and replicates it in the larger society – hurting other people.

4. Never Say to Your Child You’ll Never Get It Right.

As a parent telling your kids they will never get it right is one of the things you should never say to your child. Unfortunately, most parents feel that this kind of word helps challenge the child to do better. On the contrary, it encourages a child to remain average and endanger their self-esteem. Instead, join your kids in doing what may appear difficult to them rather than criticizing them for not getting it right.

5. I Regret Giving Birth to You Shouldn’t Be Used to Address Your Child

No matter how frustrated you may feel as a parent, most especially a single parent raising a child, know that it is extreme to tell your child you regret giving birth to him/her. That statement is wrong and is similar to disowning that child.

However, the more you express your frustration towards a child, the thinner the love between you and your kids will become.

6. Avoid The Statement; Let Me Handle It for You

There are lots of benefits attached to letting your kids make their own decisions for themselves. Therefore, it’s wrong to interrupt your kids with the comment; let me handle it. This is mainly because you feel they can’t do it to your satisfaction most especially household chores assigned to kids. As simple as these words may look, they go a long way in making your child feel imperfect.

7. It’s Wrong to Use “I’m Busy, Stop Disturbing Me” as an Excuse for Your Kids

Among the things you should never say to your child is; you’re too busy for them. Giving such excuses is common with parents who are struggling to balance work and family together. However, instead of shutting your kids up when they interrupt your activities, choose to suspend your activity and attend to your kids or talk to them calmly about your engagement and fix a better time.

8. Recommending Big Boys and Girls Don’t Cry Techniques to Your Kids

As a parent, never find yourself advising your kids to numb their emotions when faced with all sorts of circumstances. It isn’t a sign of weakness when they choose to cry or get angry when they make mistakes, but you must guide them on how to recognize and control their emotions so they don’t go extreme.

9. You Have a Bad Character

It’s about time you stop highlighting the faults of your kids and enhance their strength. Fortunately, the more their strength grows, the more their faults begin to disappear. In addition, calling your kida liar, noisemaker, or addressing them as being greedy, selfish, naughty among others are parts of those things you should never say to your child despite what they have done.

10. “You Will Never Be Like Me” Is a Wrong Word Used to Communicate with Kids

As a parent, know that you’re the first role model for your child. Therefore, you need to be mindful of how you live your life in the presence and absence of your kids. Irrespective of how successful you have become, don’t discourage your children from aspiring to reach higher goals in life by telling them they will never be like you. Instead, guide them on the part of success.

Conclusion

To regulate the kinds of words you use when communicating with your child, picture yourself in their shoes and examine how you will feel if someone else used such words on you. Certainly not happy. Hence, always weigh your words before you alter them for your kids.

Feel free to share your opinion on the types of words not to use for children in the comment section below.

11 Household Chores You Can Assign Your Kids

11 Household Chores You Can Assign Your Kids

When it comes to home maintenance, kids are rarely included in the equation. In most cases, the home chores are divided between both parents alongside their regular activities or done by one parent if he/she is a single parent raising a child or someone else gets paid to do it. In contrast, there are lots of household chores for kids that parents can assign to their children to relieve themselves of some amount of stress.

Therefore, to avoid a nervous breakdown, engage in division of labour when it comes to home chores with your kids.

It’s your responsibility as a parent to provide all that your child needs to grow and thrive better. This includes meeting their financial, social, emotional, physical needs, selecting the right school for your child,  enhancing their academic performance, ensuring they stay healthy with the best routine. However, to imbibe proper discipline and boost their passion for hand skills you need to learn about household chores for kids which are appropriate for their age.

In this article, you will learn more about household chores for kids below teenage age and those for teenagers.

What Are The Importance Of Assigning Household Chores To Kids?

It’s wrong to feel guilty or weak to ask your kids to help around in the house. To ensure your family is functioning properly you need to carry everyone along—including the kids. Delegation of household chores promotes unity within the family. It increases the love bond with your kids and teaches you kids more about teamwork—applicable to other aspects of their lives.

Furthermore, they learn how to become independent while away from home by solving their problems. In addition, they learn about certain skills like communication and listening skills, negotiating ability, critical reasoning, time management, organization ability, and lots more.

It’s also a way of disciplining a child positively to desist from a lazy attitude.

Household Chores For Pre–Teenagers

1. Tidying Up The House is Apppropraite for Kids

The reason why your kids disarrange the house most especially their rooms is that they don’t arrange it by themselves. Hence, they don’t know the importance of it. Tidying up the house isn’t a tedious task to accomplish. Therefore, feel free to delegate this to your kids. This includes setting their shoes and books shelves by themselves, arranging their toys, sweeping the house, and putting everything in the right order.

Oftentimes, they might not do it the way you need it, but ensure to give them guidelines to follow. 

2. Assign Inside Errands to Toddlers

It might be risky to send a younger child on errands outside the home. However, they are still useful for inside errands. They are fast at delivering stuff they are asked to get. Therefore, while in the kitchen, carry them along by asking them to get things from the shelves while you cook.

While in the sitting room, ask them to bring your briefcase, file, purse, and whatever from your room.

3. Folding Laundry is an Appropriate Chores for Kids

Folding the laundry is another interesting chore for kids. So, while they can’t do the laundry, they can fold it up and place it in the right box. However, kids are always in a haste to finish folding all the laundry on time. In essence, this stage requires lots of patience with kids.

Subsequently, as they continue with it they adapt orderliness and patience as an attitude.

4. Ask Your Kids to Set Up The Table For Meal

Pre-teenagers aren’t capable of preparing a complete meal. But, they are effective in setting up the table for the meal cooked. Once you tell them how you want it placed. They are good to go! In addition, after the meal, it should be their responsibility to offload the dishes used back to the kitchen.

Also, as parents not eating together at least once a day is unhealthy for the family growth and also a parenting mistake to be avoided.

5. Placement Chores are Meant for Kids

It’s chaotic trying to place the items bought from the market in the right order after returning tired. Therefore, that’s why you have kids around you. Since they can arrange the house, certainly placing items in the right stand won’t be a difficult task for them to accomplish.

6. Kids are Good at Reminder Chores

This might appear minor to you but that’s what kids are good at—reminding you what you might have forgotten. This comes to play most especially when drafting out the list of the things you would love to buy for the household. Since kids are great observers they can notice the stuff that is exhausted and needs replacement within the home.

Household Chores For Teenagers

1. Yard Work Should be Assigned to Teenagers

Keeping the yard neat is made much easier when you have teenagers in your house. This is because teenagers are characterized by high exuberance. Therefore, they can lawn the grass without burning out compared to you as an adult.

2. Teenagers are Good for Outside Errands

In choosing the appropriate household chores for kids ensure that your older kids are allowed to carry out duties outside the household without your presence. This includes shopping for necessary items, delivering packages to a friend’s home, disposing of trash, and doing other important activities you need outside the home.

3. Ask Them to Take Care Of Their Younger Siblings

Why employ the service of a nanny while you have teenage kids at home? In contrast, employ the service of your teenage kids to look after their younger siblings while you are away from home.

It’s stress-free this way since the younger kids are already familiar with their elders compared to an outsider.

4. Assign Your Teenager Major Clean-up Work

You would do your teenage child much better by assigning them to major household clean-up chores. This way, they learn how to put their hands to work better to ensure the proper functioning of the home—applicable to other aspects of their lives.

Some major clean-ups include mopping, dishwashing, car washing, scrubbing the bathroom among others.

5.  Ask Them to Assist in Preparing Meal

The best time for kids to learn how to prepare a meal is at their teenage age by assisting you in the kitchen. Fortunately, what is learned is carried into adulthood.

Therefore, allowing your kids to assist in the kitchen is one of the productive household chores for kids. It lessens the workload on you and provides them with a platform to learn.

Conclusion

Oftentimes, kids consider household chores boring and frustrating. Therefore, to encourage them to begin by being a model for them to follow. Remember, they need to see you do it first before they follow. In addition, reward and praise them after a job well done.

Furthermore, you can share other kinds of household chores you believe are appropriate for kids, in the comment section below.

How to Raise a Child With Autism

How to Raise a Child With Autism

The joy of a parent to raise a healthy and decent child. But, what happens when the reverse becomes the case? This unprecedented change in a child leaves most parents confused. Subsequently, it results in fear and anxiety when the doctor’s report shows that their child is diagnosed with autism disorder. Unfortunately, no parents ever prepare beforehand to raise an autistic child. Therefore, it becomes devastating raising a child with autism for all parents.

Furthermore, you begin to wonder what’s next? As your life will undergo drastic alterations, likewise, that of your child. However, you’re not alone in this struggle. This article is written to provide you with the best tips you need when raising a child with autism.

What Is Autism?

Autism, also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a term that encompasses a group of neurodevelopmental disorders that disrupts the ability to communicate, socialize, coordinate emotions, and comprehend things.

This disability varies from person to person. Oftentimes, it becomes a complex, lifelong challenge. Meanwhile, research has shown that autism occurs more in male children than females.

Causes Of Autism

There isn’t a specific cause for autism yet, although there are various factors that can give rise to autism disorder. Interference with the function, structure, and development of the brain result in autism. Most especially, when pregnant women indulge in unhealthy lifestyles during pregnancy like intake of hard drugs, alcohol, and anti-seizure medication— it affects the unborn child.

Also, metabolic conditions alter the function of the brain, for instance, diabetes, epilepsy, sleep disorder, obesity, or untreated phenylketonuria.

Other factors include heredity, gene mutation, exposure to harmful chemicals, viral infections, and being born to aged parents.

What Are The Symptoms of Autism?

1. Behavioural Signs of Autism

Autistic kids are impulsive, clumsy, have poor eye contact, engage in self-harm, and display passive/aggressive/disruptive attitudes.

They enjoy repetitive patterns like rocking, spinning, hand flapping, or walking on toes.

 2. Social Signs of Autism

Perhaps you notice your child prefers being alone instead of associating with their peers, it’s a sign of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Subsequently, they become indifferent to caregivers, having restricted Interests.

Oftentimes, they struggle to express themselves. Some infants hardly respond to their names and lack joyous engaging expressions.

3. Development Signs of Autism

Delay in speech can be traced to ASD. Victims of autism have abnormal speech patterns like babbling or robot-like speech. These categories of children can be seen repeating a single word or phrase which is often meaningless.

4. Cognitive Signs of Autism

The simple litmus test for autism is through cognitive signs. Children with ASD have low intelligence, creativity, memory retention ability, and emotional coordination. They lack concentration and can’t understand easy questions or directions.

5. Psychological Signs of Autism

This includes being unconscious of their emotions and those around them. They are also victims of depression and being

sensitive to touch, light, sound, smell, taste, color, and texture.

Practical Tips for Raising a Child With Autism

1. Incorporate Patient While Raising a Kid With Autism

It’s exhausting bringing up a child who forgets everything that has been learned. Unfortunately, this is the state autistic kids belong to. In other words, they keep repeating wrong behaviors after being corrected countless times— slow at adapting to normal behavior. However, instead of getting angry with their lack of improvement, chose to be patient and supportive.

Learn how to be patient with that child, looking beyond their disabilities. Don’t permit your anger to dictate how to nurture an artistic child nor should you employ violent methods of disciplining a child when correcting them.

2. Non-verbal Communication Helps You Relate Better With an Autistic Child

Autistic children find it difficult to communicate and express themselves verbally—speech defaults. Therefore, to connect with them you must learn how to communicate using nonverbal methods such as communication using gestures, facial expressions, and touch.

This may sound ridiculous. However, raising a child with autism demands you learn them. It enables you to relate to their needs and provides for them. It further helps that child associate with others instead of being left behind.

3. Create A Safe Haven for an Autistic Child

A hostile environment stirs up autism spectrum disorder—it hinders improvement. Perhaps, you’re raising a child with autism, you need to make your home a haven. It isn’t the time for nagging, quarreling, or violence in the family. Rather a time to practice activities that increase love bonds with a child.

A healthy relationship communicates the message of love and value to an autistic child. Oftentimes, victims of autism give in to self-harm. Therefore, ensure you keep out all harmful objects, substances, and appliances from their reach. Always monitor their movements.

4. Study Your Child as a Parent

As a parent or caregiver, you must watch out for the signs of autism in your kids beginning from infancy. This enables you to seek the right treatment early. The outcome from your study will give an accurate knowledge of the things that upset your child, so you can avoid them. Similarly, the thing that cheers them up.

Don’t hesitate to do more of what makes them happy as it boosts their learning process of increasing normal behavior.

5. Reward Their Behaviors

To boost the retention ability of children with ASD you need to reward their good behavior often. Since they easily forget what’s learned, getting rewarded will help them familiarize themselves with normal behaviors.

Subsequently, they begin to adapt to what’s learned to obtain the rewards. Meanwhile, don’t hesitate to show disapproval for wrong behaviors by not awarding rewards.

6. Build Your Child’s Interest

You must learn how to discover your child’s passion irrespective of their disability. Autism hinders a child’s cognitive ability and academic performance, however, it doesn’t terminate their interest in other activities. You also need to step beyond discovering their passion by giving them your support and encouragement.  Developing their interest strengthens them to communicate and socialize faster.

Don’t be quick to conclude they aren’t good at anything—keep trying. I have met with an autistic child who is an awesome artist. Therefore give your child a chance!

7. Watch Your Words as You Speak With an Autistic Child

Raising a child with autism requires the use of gracious words. I know it hurts to see your child with disabilities but that shouldn’t alter your words used in communicating to them. It’s disastrous to use insulting words at them. This implies that your words can either become a healing or destructive balm. Depending on how you utilize them. 

Using words like you’re worthless, you would never learn or why don’t you ever fit in like other kids tears down their self-esteem and worsens their condition. In contrast, use supportive and loving words; I believe in you, you can do it, you’re a genius, you’re unique among others.

8. Disallow Self–isolation for an Autistic Child

Oftentimes parents encourage the attitude of loneliness in autistic children by restricting their movement. Due to fear of being embarrassed when they misbehave while among their peers.

Unfortunately, this act doesn’t solve the problem. If you must succeed at raising a child with autism, you must realize that they are also entitled to the privilege and rights of a normal child— not less. 

Therefore, give them your support by allowing them to associate with their peers. Perhaps, you feel their peers will laugh at them, ensure they hang out with a few friends, preferably one or two is healthy for a start. They adapt faster to normal behavior through positive peer group influence.

9. Involve Others 

To prevent breaking down with depression, involve others in your quest to help your child overcome autism. In other words, you need the help of other household members. It’s one of your responsibilities to inform and educate them on how to relate to an autistic child. Therefore, instead of insulting or rejecting such children, they give their love, support, and acceptance. It further creates a conducive atmosphere to learn new skills.

10. A Private Tutor is Needed for an Autistic Child

Furthermore, it’s a waste of time and effort to assume that an autistic child will cope along with their peers. Therefore, you need to employ the assistance of a private tutor to simplify what’s taught, which aids their comprehension ability.

They also tend to forget easily. However, a private tutor will help in revising what is taught many more times until it’s adapted.

11. Commitment to Treatment

There are numerous treatments for autism spectrum disorder depending on the disability of a child. As a parent raising a child with autism you need to understand that these treatments work in a progressive pattern—not instantaneous. This treatment process calls for commitment and patience. There will be a time when you feel the treatment isn’t working, however, don’t quit! Continue sooner than later you will see improvement in that child’s life.

Autism spectrum disorder treatment includes speech therapy, occupational therapy( Enhance daily activities), physical therapy, educational therapy, family therapy and applied behavioral analysis.

In addition, certain medications may be recommended like antipsychotics for behavioral problems or antidepressants (for anxiety and depression).

12. Self-Care is Needed

You need to be healthy and fit to provide your child with the best support needed to walk through autism. Taking proper care of yourself is needed to avert a nervous breakdown. In essence, you need to be emotionally stable. Avoid engaging in self-pity or worrying, this often results in depression. Likewise, give your body enough rest, proper diets, and seek medical care when sick. Also, discard the use of hard drugs to forget about your pain.

Conclusion

Early recognition of autism spectrum disorder makes treatment achievable. Therefore, be an observant parent. Nonetheless, your support is highly required to enhance normal behavior, although you would have to make decisions for them for a long time before they attain independence.

Meanwhile, as a pregnant mother be careful of the things you take into your body system. These substances affect the unborn child.

In addition, share your views regarding raising a child with autism in the comment section.

You Are Not a Good Parent if You Don’t Avoid These Parenting Mistakes

You Are Not a Good Parent if You Don’t Avoid These Parenting Mistakes

As a parent, I assume there were things you wished your parents had taught you while growing up. Also, there was the hurtful treatment you received from them, that you wished you could reverse. Back then I’m sure you had promised yourself to become a better version of your parents to your kids. In this post, I will share 8 parenting mistakes to avoid while handling your kids.

Currently, the ball of parenting is in your court, instead of finding it easy and interesting as you’ve imagined. Reverse the case, you’re struggling to keep up with parenting. Indulging in all forms of parenting mistakes to avoid while grooming a child. The role of parenting is tasking and requires courage to get it right.

8 Parenting Mistakes Every Parent Must Avoid

1. Do Not Be Mr. and Mrs. Busy Outfit

There is a natural urge in parents to provide the necessities of life for their family and there is nothing wrong with that. But in that process, the majority abandon their kids to grow and look after themselves. Perhaps, hand them over to a nanny or a relative to look after while they are engrossed in their jobs, career, business, and personal issues. This approach is dangerous and affects your kids negatively.

As parents never sacrifice the well-being of your kids for a job that’s extremely demanding and takes you away from them. If that continues their needs and wants will become unnoticeable to you. Hence, spend more time with them by balancing your schedule.

In short, your kid’s happiness is your priority as a parent. That implies being there for them. The more you distance yourself from your kids, the love bond begins to fade, and gradually they see you as a stranger. Clinging unto whoever spends more time with them.

2. Imposing Your Will on Your Kids

Conflict of interest creates disunity in a family. Parents assume they know what suits their kids best, without considering their kid’s opinions. That’s wrong, it kills a child’s creativity and freedom. Furthermore, it also steals their happiness.

Yes! You have a right to make choices for your kids, still, that be open to hearing theirs. Instead of imposing, attempt in convincing them with reasons why their choice may not profit them and how yours would benefit them more. For instance, instead of imposing your choice of career on them, ask them their ambitions.

3. Do Not Compare Your Kids!

Comparing your kids to someone is one of the biggest parenting mistakes to avoid. Psychologically when you compare your child to others or their siblings you’re hampering their performance most especially academically. As a present cultivate the habit of embracing and celebrating your kid’s uniqueness. Do you want your child to improve? If yes, make them believe in themselves by showing how proud you are of them.

Malam Usman and his wife had a son who experiences difficulty in spelling and reading fluently. Whereas, his younger siblings were exceptionally brilliant. Rather than comparing him, perhaps highlighting his disability, they chose to encourage him and got him an English tutor, which is the right way to raise a child with a disability.

To their amazement, he picked up so fast and became eloquent in spelling and reading. If you observe closely, this couple didn’t pressure their son through comparison. Employ these tactics as a parent. 

4. One Mistake You Could Do as a Parent Is Not Leading by Example

This is another parenting mistake to avoid when handling your kids. As a parent, know that you’re a role model to your kids. Don’t expect them to do as you say while they watch you do the opposite. The way you live your life as a parent is reflected in the upbringing of your kids.

There are certain behaviours, you shouldn’t display in front of your kids, such as quarreling as a couple. It’s wrong and destabilizes your kids. I advise if there is a misunderstanding between you and your partner learn to settle it in private and not in the presence of your kids.

Also, avoid taking hard drugs or harmful substances while telling your kids they are hazardous to their health. Lead by example as a parent, not by mare instructions.

5. It’s Wrong to Ignore Your Kids Passion

Kids are creative and love to explore. As loving parents, one of the gifts you can offer to your child is supporting and promoting their passion, this can be artworks, crafts, singing, dancing, writing, and more. How then can you support them and become their biggest fan when you can’t tell where their passion lies?

Most times, they even walk up to you and showcase their talents. How do you react as a parent? Let’s see, you push them aside, give flimsy excuses, show less interest, ask them to stop bothering you, and come back later.

All these behaviours are parenting mistakes to avoid as much as possible. Next time, when your kid walks up to you, suspend whatever you’re doing at the moment and show some concern. This includes their school work.

6. Extreme Punishment and Under-discipline

Parents often find it conflicting to differentiate between disciplining and punishing their kids. Of course, when they do what’s wrong they should be corrected appropriately, that draws their attention to why they are being punished. However, in that process, some parents may end up inflicting injuries on their children due to anger. It isn’t profitable to discipline a child out of anger it often results in something outrageous.

In that case, how should you discipline your kids? It is simple, corporal punishment should be avoided, your punishment should be on a minimal scale.

Afterwards, sit with that child, explain why they were punished and what is expected of him next time. This must be done in love.

7. One Mistake Parents Make is Trying to Raise Perfect Kids

There isn’t any perfect being in the world. Rather there is plenty of room for improvement. That’s the mindset you need as a parent when training your kids.

The moment you begin to foresee high expectations from your kids, indirectly you’re paving the way for hatred and bitterness towards your child when they don’t meet up to your set standard.

8. Shying Away From Sex-Talk

This is one of the parenting mistakes to avoid. As a parent, if you don’t advise your kids on the right way to go about sex in our crazy world, chances are; they get to hear it from other sources which may portray sex in the wrong manner to them. I see nothing wrong in teaching your kids purity and chastity before marriage.

This advice would help your kids become better tomorrow even while they are away from you. They should learn about the consequences and damages that are involved in premarital sex and also how to keep themselves away from such. 

Also, create time to advise your kids, teach them acceptable characters to imitate and the ones to discard. Train them to stand for what’s right. And no matter the circumstances they should learn not to compromise their standard. 

Conclusion

Being strict with your kids is never going to change or solve anything, learn to become their best friend. Likewise, limiting your kids is another parenting mistake to avoid. Don’t confine them to the walls of your house, allow them to explore and learn other aspects of life.

Share with us other parenting mistakes you feel People should avoid.

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