The Feeling of Insecurity and How To Avoid it

Lady suffering from insecurity

Written by Anita Ayibatari

July 4, 2020

Insecurity might be a word some may have come across but do you know what it’s about? No? Don’t worry, by the end of this article, you will have to learn all about it and how to avoid feeling insecure about yourself. Many people in the world are faced with challenges concerning insecurity and these have made them feel less of themselves or even made them accept what they’re not supposed to accept. Insecurity has become a big threat to humanity and is seen in almost every area of life. Coupled with social media, the feeling of insecurity has skyrocketed.

To start with, what is insecurity? Insecurity can be seen as a state of being vulnerable or being open to danger. In this context, we will be seeing insecurity as a feeling of uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. It could also be seen as a lack of confidence.
With this definition in mind, we can see what insecurity is about. No matter how big or small, wealthy or poor a person might be, everyone is insecure about something. It could be about your height, your job, people always gossiping about you, and so on. So go ahead and ask yourself, What am I insecure about?

If you have the constant need to keep checking and rechecking yourself in the mirror, then yes, you are insecure! If you constantly worry about what others will think about you, yes, you are insecure. If you have a sudden urge to run or disappear when amid some people, you are insecure. If you worry about your past constantly or probably about your body, then yes you are insecure. These are just a few of the things that one can be insecure about.

Causes of Insecurity feelings

The causes of insecurity run wild and wide. From the littlest things to the big ones, there is no end to what can make a person feel insecure. You have to know what causes it for you to avoid feeling insecure. Below some of the commonest reasons.

1. Childhood Experience

One of the major things that affect a lot of people is the type of childhood experience they have gone through. A child who grew up in a family where he/she was constantly shut down, belittled, or constantly asked to keep his opinions to himself will have confidence issues wherever they go. They won’t air their views for fear of someone shutting them down. A word of advice? Encourage your children to voice out their thoughts even if you don’t agree with them to help them avoid feeling insecure about their selves.

2. Trauma

Trauma could be seen as an event that causes distress. It could be an emotional problem that might lead to psychological issues. If a person gets assaulted sexually or robbed at one point, it could lead to that person feeling down and unsure of his or herself. They might feel less of humans.

3. Failure

The most common cause of insecurity. Failure could make a person feel less of his/herself. They won’t feel worth it because they failed especially when their peers make it through. An example might be falling exams. If a classmate falls this while the others pass, they might feel unintelligent and start doubting themselves.

4. Rejection

This could be a big deal to some people. Getting rejected can make some people feel depressed for a very long time leading them to feel insecure and sometimes make terrible choices.

Also read: Ultimate Ways to Avoid Divorce

5. Loneliness

When a person begins to feel left out, alone, or lonely, they start sensing that probably there’s something wrong with them, or that nobody wants them. This could lead to low self-esteem and insecurity about oneself. Those who are in good company avoid the feeling of insecurity.

6. Criticism

Let’s face it, harsh criticisms can make one feel less sure about themselves. If they’re not constructive, they could lead to insecurities. They might think they are not up to anything good. Also, as a result some people just keep telling themselves they won’t be able to make it because they feel intimidated or incapable. This could come from parents, siblings, friends, or even spouses. Next time you criticize someone harshly, think about how that can make them feel insecure.

7. Fear

Ever been scared of not being good enough or of failing again? Or has a phobia that you are not being appreciated enough? This is one of the major causes of insecurity.
Perfectionism – Perfectionism is not something attainable and is only an attribute of God. As humans, we are faulted and once we accept this fact, only then can we be happy. The fact that parents and society push us to be the perfect images of ourselves pushes us to the borders of insecurity.

8. Social media

This is one of the main reasons so many people in the present world are insecure. Looking and trying to be like celebrities, public figures and social media influencers is one of the many ways to fall into the webs of insecurity. These people have a whole village readily at their feet covering up every single scar and fault. Wile celebrities are not perfect themselves and have their weaknesses and faults, the people emulating them try to be. They end up feeling insecure when that becomes impossible.

9. Body

Body shaming has become a very popular thing in the world today with people being attacked for how they look. Size, shapes, and, heights of people have all become objects of mockery by some. This is why we see a lot of reconstructive surgeries. This is mostly the product of insecurity.

10. Money

As people would say, money is the root of all evils. Money has become a means of defining how important a person is. The rise of fraudsters, scammers, kidnappers can be linked with the feeling of insecurity and how they want to get money by all means just to feel among.

11. Illiteracy

A lot of people keep quiet when their peers are having conversations. Why? Because they feel intimidated. They feel they haven’t gotten to their levels. Perhaps this might be partly why parents nowadays spend lots of money on getting the best education for their children.

12. Lack of trendy attires

This is very common amongst the female gender. Women feel the need to have the trendiest outfits forgetting that fashion trends come and go and within short periods. This makes some go to extreme lengths just to feel among.

How to Overcome the Feelings of Insecurity

As earlier stated in this article, everyone is insecure about something so it’s a bad idea to stress over things you can’t change. If you can work to make things better, you should but if not, don’t kill yourself over it.

1. Cut off people who make fun of your insecurities

This is an important way to avoid the troubles of insecurity. Anyone who uses your insecurities as jokes or keeps teasing you about them doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Please do yourself good and remove them or place them where they can’t reach you. Period!

2. Speak positively

It is a good thing to always affirm good things about yourself. No matter what people say about you, you have the key to your life. Make it count. Affirm only positive things to yourself. Do this and see how you avoid the feeling of insecurity.

3. Take your time

Don’t push yourself too hard. A lot of people make the mistake of trying to be superman. We are only humans so don’t stress. Take life one step at a time. Everything will fall in place at the right time.

4. Smile and Laugh A lot

‘Blessed are those who laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be entertained’.

Chinese proverb

Smiles and laughter have a way of boosting one’s self. Do this as often as possible. This is a rather simple and free way of boosting your self-esteem and avoiding feeling insecure.

5. Keep supportive people around

The type of people we have around us matters a lot. Always keep friends who motivate and support you not belittle your accomplishments. Choose your friends wisely and watch how you avoid insecurity.

Related: 15 Types of Friends Around you

6. Do what makes you happy

It is important to be you. You might fall into the traps of insecurity when you try to engage in something you don’t feel happy doing just to feel among. Avoid this, and do only what makes you happy. Be passionate about it. Whatever makes you happy is what you should do more often. Don’t do it because people are doing it, do it because you love it.

7. Love yourself

It is important to love yourself the way you are. That way if someone makes fun of your weak point, you’d have already known so it won’t hurt as much. Be your BFF. Do this and avoid you can avoid insecurity in your life.

8. Maintain a strong Body language

Standing tall, sitting upright might be small moves but they are important and sometimes people read meaning into these tiny details. So don’t look or act intimidated, stand tall, and always feel good about yourself. This can help you avoid the troubles of insecurity.

9. Celebrate yourself

Sometimes, people drown themselves in their weaknesses and forget their awesome traits. Take a chance to celebrate those amazing parts of you today.

10. Consult an expert

Sometimes, it’s also a good plan to visit an expert. They have years of experience and therefore know better. They can help you avoid insecurity

Insecurity has eaten deep into the cores of a lot of people, today is a time to change that mindset and be better. Work on yourself but never be too harsh or in a rush. Take your time, laugh, live, be happy. Everything will work out with time.

Remember no one is perfect. We’re all still working to be better. Don’t let the world and social media influence you negatively. Social media is just an illusion and everyone is dealing with their problems in real life. Don’t be deceived.

Love yourself and remember, you are strong, awesome, and beautiful!

Have a great day.

You May Also Like…


Leave a Reply

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest