This is How You Turn Down Someone Nicely and Politely

Written by Abu Hafsah

Bappa Al-Ameen is a Geographer and an Educationist. He loves to write in his leisure time - mostly on relationships, weddings, and personal growth, and do computer related tasks. More so, he is a dedicated fellow, very time-conscious, easy-going and down to earth.

October 10, 2021

Perhaps, you have been asked out by someone, proposed to by someone, invited to join a team, or someone is wanting to be friends with you. In life, you can’t escape situations like these. Now, do you wish to know how to reject someone politely, and probably still be friends? If your answer is positive, then this post is for you.

Let me be your tour guide on how to reject that girl/boy nicely, how to turn down someone politely and how to reject any offer in general, politely.

9 Ways to Reject Someone Politely

1. Prepare Yourself to It

As easy as you may see it as do not think of confronting the person in question without actually making a plan on how you want everything to go about. “Failure to plan is planning to fail” phrase cannot be more right.

First, the approach you will use depends on the individual. Therefore, ensure you know the individual well. If you already do, then that’s fine. Now, think of what to say and the gestures you should use while saying it. Please, do not give a long speech, you may begin to sound unserious, childish, or boring if you do.

So, be as brief as possible except in a situation where they keep interrupting, only then should it be long. Even at that, try to break any conversation short – in a nice way the moment you sense it.

2. Be Honest about It

How to reject someone politely can be achieved successfully if you’re honest about it. There is this special attraction people feel for honest people, even the dishonest ones. Ensure that whatever you say is true and nothing but the truth. Saying things that are false is the wrong way to go about rejecting someone. This is because since they already know you, sometimes very well, chances are they will spot a false statement from you.

This will make you look rather unserious. They may even begin to question themselves “What was I even thinking when I decided to profess my love/friendship/marriage proposal to this jerk? He/she doesn’t even worth me”. You wouldn’t what that, would you?

3. Do it Face-to-Face

For me, breaking up or rejecting someone by doing it face to face is the best. It tells or shows them that you have regard for them. This will make it easier for them to accept your rejection.

However, you could send them a sweet text message conveying your intention. A text message like:

“Hello there. Good day and I hope this message meets you in a good mood and sound health. I just texted to let you know I have thought well about your offer for love/marriage/friendship well, and this is the decision I have come up with. There is no better way to say this, but I believe you deserve better – someone way better than me…”

As good as the above message may seem, saying it physically sounds way better than saying it over a text message.

4. Do it Yourself

As tempting as it is to send someone else because you’re not confident, say a member of your family, or friend, do it yourself. Be bold, be confident, and most importantly, be nice while conveying your message.

The benefit of doing yourself to them is that they see you as a person worth their time and space even though they obviously know you aren’t interested or available. In addition, they will respect you as someone with courtesy and a sense of humour. Moreover, you get to benefit from doing the rejection yourself by them seeing you in whatever nice way they see you.

5. Avoid Giving False Hope

Always put it at the back of your mind that you are doing this because you do not have the time, space, or heart to accommodate them. Stick to that. Therefore, be straightforward.

All your statements and actions should be tailored in that direction and not anything contrary. For instance, they like seeing messages from you, they like to sit close to you always, they like being with you – just the two of you, they like you assisting them in doing some stuff, do not avail them the opportunity of having all of those all the time. Reduce it significantly or do not do it again if you genuinely know you do not want them.

Well, that doesn’t stop you from being nice to them, but not in a way that will send them a wrong signal.

6. Don’t Mention Their Flaws

As you begin to talk, remember, avoid mentioning their flaws. For instance, you are rejecting a girl/guy which the major reason why you are rejecting them is that they smell terribly bad always, can’t cook, dress badly, are unreligious etcetera. Do not say that to them. Avoid mentioning any attribute about them that is negative. Remember, the aim is to be seen as nice after the show.

However, look for positive attributes and say a little about them. Do not concentrate on that though. For instance, you could say:

“… you are beautiful/handsome, I envy your intellect and I love how honest you are to me by seeing me worthy of being a part of your life…”

This will make you sound nice and good.

7. Be More Focused on Your Needs

We humans have our individual needs as regards whom we want to be friends with have a relationship, teamwork with, marry, etc. Here, concentrate more on your needs as a person. For instance, if you are that kind of person who focuses or gives more attention to your carrier and have little or no time for love, you could say:

“I’m grateful and thrilled by your offer and I can’t be happier than I already am by it. However, I’m in a moment where my career is my top priority. I do not mean to sound rude but the truth needs to be told. The time I’m needed most by my carrier is now and I spend a lot of time attending to it. Putting you now in the equation will only worsen my situation because I will be having less time for you, and truly, you deserve better…”

Please, do not mention any of their needs. That could mess up all the things you have said or will say.

8. Don’t Make Them Wait for Long

Sometimes, rejecting someone could be scary most especially if you are heavily indebted to that person. The best way to avoid being in that kind of position is by refusing gratitude from anyone except when it becomes highly necessary.

Nevertheless, do not be scared, do not feel ungrateful, and do not hesitate. In other words, do not make them wait for long. Do it the moment you find a suitable opportunity to.

9. Do It at the Right Time

Just because you do not want them and you have prepared for it and gathered the courage to meet them, shouldn’t make you selfish. Endeavour to do it at the appropriate time. For instance, you do not want to reject someone even if politely while they are in a bad mood, or when they are ill, lost a dear one, did badly in an examination or interview, or the likes. I guess no. You will want to reject them while they are somewhere in between being happy and sad.

Timing is very key whenever you want to do something in life, not only rejecting someone. So, target the right time.

Conclusion

Nobody wants to be rejected in any way, but because we don’t always get what we want or need, there is bound to be rejection here and there. You may want someone but they may not want you back. That’s life for you. Nonetheless, if you have to reject someone politely, you could use the above-mentioned ways to accomplish that.

If you find this article helpful, kindly share with us what you think in the comments section. More so, you could also tell us how you got to reject someone politely as well. Meanwhile, if you tried forgiving someone and you felt it was impossible then check this out.

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