Inside This Article
- 1 Reasons Why Parents Make Career Choices For Their Children
- 2 Here is What You Should Do If Your Parents Force You Into A Career
Conflict of interest in career choice between parents and their children is one of the factors igniting family disputes, which might eventually affect the level of love, trust, unity, understanding, and harmony in a home.
Oftentimes, propels children to rebel against their parents. However, to avert disheartening statements in the future like; “I hate what I do and life is miserable for me because my parents forced me into a career I dislike”, it’s best if you speak up in the right way.
But before you learn how to do that, you need to understand why parents tend to make career choices for their children.
Reasons Why Parents Make Career Choices For Their Children
It’s wrong for parents to force their children into careers they have little or no passion for. In essence, a career is a lifetime occupation that requires you to make the decision yourself and not your parents. However, parents believe they know what’s best for their children and are in the position to decide what career they should venture into, besides they pay the bills.
Reasons for these are traced to the parental desire for a socially recognized career, careers with more job opportunities, and for a selfish reason as to preserving their family status.
Rebelling Is Not An Option
Consider this story.
“My parents are forcing me to become a doctor, I’m not interested, what can I do?”, Audu laments.
Unfortunately, he grew up in a family passionate about medical sciences. His dad is a doctor, his mom a pharmacist, while his sister is into the nursing profession. Besides, they own a private hospital. His dad continually reminded him of heading the family hospital someday. Audu had something entirely different from what his parents wanted for him.
His passion was for architecture, being scared of disobeying his parents he kept quiet and devised his scheme. Unknowing to his parents, he had a change of course and for years lied to his parents hoping to convince them with his excellent grades in architecture having graduated.
Surprisingly, the reverse was the case. His deceit brought enmity between him and his parents shattered their love and trust for him.
If you find yourself in Audu’s story you don’t have to remain silent at the expense of your happiness neither should you rebel.
Here is What You Should Do If Your Parents Force You Into A Career
1. Understand Your Parents
Your parents are forcing you into a career? Consider it from their perspectives. Your parents would not make choices that are detrimental to your well-being. Their choice might be different from yours but it is not completely a horrible option. Hence, consider their perspective. Ask yourself the reasons why your parents want you to pick a certain career, is there a selfish reason? Enquire about the benefit associated with that career path.
Be more practical, how would you react if you were in your parent’s shoes someday and your child rebels against your choice. You can convince them when you speak from their standpoints.
2. Communicate Your Feelings
This is a medium that helps you express how you feel towards your parent’s choice, likewise convince them about your own desired career. Silence never solves the problem of your parents forcing you into a career you dislike. Discard the feeling of fear from your mind when approaching your parents and employ the following communication tactics.
- Select Your Words: To successfully convince your parents, be mindful of your word usage, avoid using words such as; “you have no right over me”, “I am old enough to make my own choices”, “I have my life to live” etc. Those kinds of words harden their heart the more. In contrast, use words like; “I trust your choice for me”, “I know you have my best at heart” and the likes.
- Moderate Your Tune: Your tune while conversing either creates a negotiable atmosphere or an uneasy one. Speak with courtesy because pleasant words spoken in a calm tune loosens up the hearts and promotes agreement.
- Time Your Approach: it’s a fruitless effort attempting to convince your parents when they are stressed out or upset. Hence, observe their moods. You can also set a happy atmosphere by assisting them in completing their activities for the day or prepare a surprise meal for them before approaching them.
- Heart-to-heart Conversation: Your parents will always rethink when every word you express is said from your heart, putting your emotions to play.
3. Present a Role Model
Humans are easily convinced by the good example presented to them. Therefore, show your parents people who are successful in your desired fields, this practice assures your parents that you are not making the wrong choice.
Also, provide a thousand acceptable reasons why you decide to choose a career entirely different from theirs, along with the benefits associated with the career.
4. Enlist The Help Of A Third Party
The other steps aren’t sufficient, and you are afraid of approaching your parents? Then get a third party involved. However, you need to be mindful of the kinds of third parties you invite. Meanwhile, there are standard third parties capable of convincing your parents about your choice.
Furthermore, sign up for a counseling session with a career counselor or coach, you can also invite them over to your house to talk with your parents if they insist on forcing you. These counselors are trained in the field of career choice and conflict of Interest among parents and children, hence they know the perfect approach to apply notwithstanding how difficult your parent might be.
You can also enlist the help of your neighbor, teacher or lecturer, Malam, Pastor, or any other relative your parents hold in high esteem.
5. Express Your Passion
Parents are humans too with natural emotions. Begin by letting your parents know how difficult their chosen career would be for you and how you might end up failing in that career path. On hearing this, most times they give their support in favor of your career because no parent wants to waste their time, resource, and efforts on a career that will result in future failure.
Likewise, outline your plans and objectives for choosing your preferred career to your parents.
6. Promise And Fulfil
Take responsibility for every choice you make. Your parents might doubt your success in your desired field and force you into a career different from your plans. However, their minds and choice can be reversed by making a promise.
For instance, committing yourself to excellence and making your parents proud when given the free will to decide for yourself. Hence, don’t make them regret their change of plans for you.
The steps mentioned above are a helpful approach to convincing your parents if they are hell-bent on forcing you to a career you don’t like. You don’t have to rebel or deceive them, instead, work towards understanding and convincing them strategically knowing that they love you and would always want the best for you.
Hope this helpls!