I Was a Victim of Child Bullying at School And This is What I Learned

I Was a Victim of Child Bullying at School And This is What I Learned

Child bullying at school has been in existence for over centuries. However, during the last two decades, it has evolved into different forms. So, while parents, guidance, and teachers are on the watch-out for physical signs of bullying there seem to be rare cases of their search. The reason has been that bullying goes beyond physical attacks and has other unnoticeable signs.

I was a victim of bullying in grade 3. I still recall the pain I went through as a new student who had no friends. Furthermore, I was alone, therefore vulnerable to bullies. It began from verbal bullying due to my small feeble body stature. Then it resulted in stealing my belongings, I was inferior and kept everything to myself. 

This continued for weeks. My mom noticed my insecure appearance, low self-esteem, and sudden dislike for school, although she wasn’t sure what was going on she kept monitoring me. One day, After school, the usual bully gangs who termed themselves tough kids seized my bag while I retaliated. I got pushed off the stairs. It became obvious that I was bullied at school when I returned home with a series of bruises on my body. My parents took fierce action when they discovered what was going on.

I hate child bullying at school because I was a victim and can relate to all other kids going through similar or worse cases of bullying. Therefore, in this post, I will be sharing everything you need to know about bullying and how I overcame bullying.

What is Bullying?

This is an abuse of power over others by the virtue of being superior to them using verbal and physical means to intimidate others. This behaviour is dangerous and leads to psychological and physical harm. 

What are the Forms of Bullying?

1. Physical Bullying

This is the most common type of child bullying at school because its effects can’t be hidden. Therefore, physical bullying is the use of physical strength to humiliate and hurt others who are less defensive.

Usually, physical bullies are stronger and bigger than their peers. It could be in the form of kicking, punching, slapping, pushing, hitting, and slamming.

2. Emotional Bullying

This form of bullying involves a behavioral attempt to make others feel left behind. These are tactics employed to exclude someone out of a particular clique, creating a feeling of loneliness and isolation in the victim. Oftentimes, parents and teachers overlook this form of bullying and advise kids to get over it. But that won’t solve the problem as it affects their emotional coordination.

This form includes spreading lies, disclosing secrets, ganging up with others to tarnish someone else’s reputations and breakage of trust. Common among the female gender.

3. Verbal Bullying

This takes the form of name-calling to embarrass someone. Also, the use of hurting/hideous languages and words to humiliate another. Verbal bullies use the weaknesses and physical challenges of their victims to attack them.

These effects are not seen physically but lead to internal injuries and destroy the self-esteem of their victims.

4. Sexual Bullying

Hurting someone sexually, either physical or non-physical. It’s also an attempt to reduce someone’s reputation by using sexual language, gestures, and violence.

In addition, It involves inappropriate touching without consent, forcing the victim into sex texting, indulge in promiscuous acts, and exposing something about their sexual life. 

5. Cyberbullying

This is becoming predominant in our tech-savvy generation. Cyberbullies go under cover of the screen on various social media platforms to degrade others through hurtful comments, slander, the spread of rumours, sharing embarrassing images, threaten and harass their victims. 

6. Prejudicial Bullying

This form of child bullying at school is carried out to humiliate others because of their race, religion, skin colour, background, weaknesses, health challenges, and sexual orientation. This usually results in restrictions and isolation of the victim. For instance, the segregation of new kids or kids from poor homes who are less privileged.

How to Tell if Your Kids are Being bullied

  • Mood swing
  • Self-isolation
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Lack of confidence
  • Lost of interest in studies
  • Unexplainable bruises
  • Secretiveness
  • Unnecesary Anger
  • Aggressiveness
  • Poor academic performance
  • Appear insecure
  • Missing and damaged belongings
  • Changes in eating pattern
  • Withdrawl from normal lifestyle
  • Adiction to alcohol or drugs

What Can Be Done?

To eliminate child bullying at school there is a need for cooperation between parents, their kids, and teachers.

1. Keep A Close Watch On Your Kids

Victims of bullying are secretive about what they’re experiencing due to fear of the unknown. Therefore, as a parent be quick to detect the signs of bullying. In addition, don’t be carried away by your career, goals, and business while your kids suffer secretly.

Furthermore, keep a check on their behaviours, social life, friends, social media handles, and also their academic performance.

2. Alert the School if You Noticed Anything Strange About Your Child

Peradventure, you notice your kids have been bullied at school. Let the school authority know about it. This helps the school management to enforce rules against bullying. Oftentimes, parents prefer to change their kid’s school instead of speaking up thinking it will solve the issues. However, that won’t solve the problem rather alert the school management.

3. Listen to Your Kids

Create a conducive atmosphere where your kids can open up their deepest feelings and secrets to you. Don’t also shut them out with a strict mood. Make yourself approachable, so your kids can walk up to you confidently if they are experiencing any form of bullying.

4. Teach Your Kids to be Bold

Exercising boldness when faced with a bullying situation will scare away bullies. This is one of the practical techniques my mom taught me. The next day at school, my bullies forcefully took my bag expecting me to retaliate. Instead, I spoke back with boldness, ordering them to hand my bag over, or I go report a teacher. Seeing the boldness in me, they knew they had lost grip on their victim.

5. Teach Your Kids Not to Stay Alone

Kids become victims of bullying when they isolate themselves from others. Advise your kids to move around open spaces with lots of people at school. In short, they should sit at the front in class. In addition, let them make trusted friends who can look out for them. 

6. Teach Your Kids How to Seek Help

Furthermore, When away from your kids, encourage them to tell a trusted adult when they have been threatened by bullies. They should trust their teachers to help if they don’t feel comfortable around certain persons.

7. Teach Your Kids About Social Media Platforms 

Social media has its benefits. however, there are disadvantages such as exposure to cyberbullying. Hence, give your kids guidelines to follow on social media, chat rooms to avoid, and sites not to visit. Ensuring your kids are safe online is one of the tactics in combating child bullying at school.

8. Set Rules and Policy

As school management, it’s your responsibility to set rules regulating the behaviours and activities of students. Moreover, those caught in the act must face the consequences for their actions to serve as an example for others.

9. Active Guidance and Counseling is Needed to curtail Bullying

Regularly, students should be counselled on the right conduct of behaviour and how to relate with their fellow students. Also, It’s the responsibility of the school to teach the students disadvantages of negative behaviour and also the advantages of positive behaviour. 

10. Teachers Should Get Involved in Eradicating Bullying

As a teacher, you need to monitor your students and look out for any act of bullying among them. You should separate their seats to avoid close contact. If there is any who is physically deformed or appears weak in your class, you need to move their seat forward and keep a close eye on them.

Conclusion

The above-mentioned ways are tactics to combat child bullying at school. However, those who are bullies come from homes which means they might have learned such behaviour from their respective families. In essence, give your kids a proper upbringing, so they portray decent behaviour when outside the home. In addition, be a role model for your kids to imitate.

Furthermore, don’t hesitate to share your views in the comment section below.

How to Be patient With Your Kids

How to Be patient With Your Kids

Tolerance is crucial when grooming kids. It keeps your emotions under control and prevents you from going crazy about kids’ annoying behaviours. Its true kids don’t always obey instructions given, most times they do the opposite and mess things up. Their unconscious irritable behaviours tend to prompt anger. Anger when not recognized and controlled yields to disaster and regrets. However, when you learn how to be patient with kids you become conscious of their natures, and how to relate with them appropriately. 

How to be patient with kids does not just apply to parents. If there is a likelihood of mingling with kids as you go through your daily routine then this piece applies to you. 

How to Be Patient With Your Kids

1. Realize That Life is a Process

Most adults have little or no tolerance for children. They have failed to understand that life is in stages and once upon a time they were kids. Childhood is a one-time experience for everyone. Nonetheless, kids are uniquely designed to view messy stuff as fun, such as throwing objects, scattering the home, if permitted lay in the mud, and lots more. Whereas adults feel the other way, they always want things to be arranged, neat, and put in order.

The truth remains that they won’t be children forever, as years go by they grow from being childish to thinking mature. At that stage, you wouldn’t have to chase them around before they do that which is expected. They unconsciously do it. Hence, don’t ruin the childhood stage of your kids, allow them to have fun, but keep an eye on them because kids can go the extra mile. 

2. Minimize Expectations

Nothing is wrong with setting goals for your kids or expecting them to come out as the best in whatever they engage in with their peers. Mostly, sports and academic work. However, if your expectations are not lessened you’ll be in for disappointment when your kids fail to meet up to your set standard. 

Their failure can make them face the consequences. This method doesn’t always go right! In essence, desire the best for your kids, support them in achieving it. If they don’t, instead of being angry, celebrate them for their current level and encourage your kids to put in more effort next time. Impatience never solves a problem rather it makes you angry and discourages your kids.

3. Focus On Their Strength Instead of Weaknesses

The root cause of impatience towards kids stems from emphasizing their weaknesses. You get irritated when your attempt to change this isn’t working. To ease that feeling you give in to punishing, forcing, yelling, flogging, and restricting your kids. Instead of doing it the hard way, focus more on their strength, help build them up in their area of uniqueness. Avoid comparing them to others who are better. When they advance in their strength their weaknesses begin to diminish. 

4. Here is the Magic

Usman is 10years of age and a talented artist. His skills were admired by all. However, his passion begins to fade away due to no support from his parents and siblings. This was because he engages in bedwetting when asleep. Usman was called all hideous names and punished. Yet, he continued bedwetting. One day, a friend of his mother came to visit and told his mom a secret on how to be patient with kids. 

His mom sat the entire family and further explained the method her friend advised her. From henceforth, rather than calling Usman names they all supported and encouraged his skills. They made statements like; “Usman is the best artist in the world” “The best artist doesn’t wet the bed”. To their amazement as they continued Usman gradually stopped bedwetting. So, building kids in the area of their strength is the fastest route to eliminating their weaknesses. You should try that!

5. Practice Patient at Other Things.

Your impatience with your kids might be a reflection of your lack of tolerance for other things. If you’re the type who gets angry at slight provocation, obviously your kid’s behaviour won’t make any difference. Stop retaliating when your kids mess things up and learn how to recognize your emotions and manage them. If you’re able to get your emotions under your control you would be more patient with other people and things; at work, within your neighbourhood, towards friends and your kids.

In addition, when stressed out, take time out, away from work and kids to prevent the transfer of aggression.

6. Put Yourself in Your Kids Shoes

How would you feel when you’re being punished for what you feel is right? Or yelled at? Or forced to go against your will? Or restricted from exploring? Certainly, you won’t feel happy or comfortable about it, you would feel deprived of your right. Now!

That’s exactly the way your kids think and feel when you’re not patient with them. Hence, before making them face the consequences of their actions, picture yourself in their shoes. This method would help you do the right thing.

7. Listen and Talk Things Out

Parents rarely get to listen to their kids, to know the reasons behind certain actions before passing judgment on them. You begin to understand your kids more as you pay attention to them and listen to what they have to say. Don’t be quick to punish them. You should sit them down and talk things out. Having heard their explanations. It’s your responsibility to make them know that what they did was wrong and also tell them what’s expected of them next time. Let them know the reason why you yelled at them or spanked them. This will help them avoid such mistakes next time. 

Conclusion

How to be patient with kids will require great love for kids to scale through. Your love for them often regulates your emotions which includes impatience towards your kids. As a parent, you need to learn about activities that increase the bond with your kids. Also, parenting mistakes should be avoided. In addition, apologize more often whenever you lose control of your emotions towards your kids. 

In addition, share your views regarding how to be patient with kids in the comment section below.

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